Wednesday, April 08, 2009

up the periscope


Pinnnng. Doooo. Pshhh.

An associate has a special ring tone on his phone when Rotto Bloggo calls: it's the sounds submarines make. We like being associated with these underwater noises.

Hopefully we don't sound like HMS Trenchant, though. In the Rottnest news of the month, the 5200-tonne British tin can became grounded off the beautiful island a dozen years ago.

See The Australian for the full marvellous story. But essentially the crew were stunned (like a dim herring) when they got far closer to the bakery than planned.

"They basically kept 200m depth and were on their way to Fremantle and were surprised when they ran into the continental shelf," says a quote in the story.

'Another former submariner said the British crew had no idea what had happened until they heard a loud scraping noise.

"The submarine was travelling at depth when it rubbed a sloping patch of sea floor," he said. "The crew took some time to actually work out what was going on."

Das Boot nearly became Das Rooted. Imagine if a nuclear sub sailed into Thomson Bay. Or beached itself next to the army jetty. If HMS Trenchant had been wrecked it would have become a marvellous dive site.

"Of all the branches of men in the forces there is none which shows more devotion and faces grimmer perils than the submariners." - supposedly Sir Winston Churchill.

Monday, April 06, 2009

fingers glued to nipples


Mysterious goings-on on the beautiful island on the weekend from a crowd called Team Core.

Team stands for Triathlon, Endurance and Multisport, and their activities are vastly different to Rotto Bloggo's: brick sessions, ocean swims and running. Ye gods.

There was also trouble with Rottnest Island Authority rangers. On Saturday "...Paul was handcuffed and faced eviction from the island by the Rottnest Island authority* for apparently not having warned them in advance that we would be over doing the session (despite several months of written communication to the contrary). Paul was soon released and sent on his merry way when they realized that our gang weren't the hooligans that they were initially believed to be!"

More details: "On the run it was hot, hot, hot and a run-in with the Rottnest Ranger over marking the course with three removal red cones resulted in variable lap distances for some of the earlier runners..."

There are some excellent photos with amusing captions: Karl super-glued his fingers to his nipples, a pair are on the run from predatory Bayseekers, and there's a woman wearing only a tarpaulin.

Team Core is "Bespoke Coaching in a Motivating Squad Environment".

("* this is of course "tongue in cheek" - we'd like to thank the Rottnest Island Authority for their help and support following explanation of the session to the Head Ranger later that day.")

Saturday, April 04, 2009

save us all


A very important vote coming up in six weeks: the daylight saving referendum. Will we vote for civilisation, or opt for barbarism?

There’s also a by-election for Fremantle: will the seat turn green?

Rottnest is strong on the issue. We saw Antony Green’s blog where he looks at the booths from the last DSR. As you would expect, the anti-daylight saving mob – fearful farmers and sundry yokels – were in places like Beacon, Dale and Muradup (Wagin).

But Rotto went for enlightenment: 120 votes in 1992, 72 for, which was 60 per cent.

The highest in the metro area was Connolly PS in Wanneroo: 884 votes out of 1275, or 69.3 per cent.

Daylight saving on Rotto: more fishing time, more mini-golf rounds, more marvellousness.

Thursday, April 02, 2009

Rotto is for lovers (and lobbers)


There’s been some media excitement over the very naughty Lovers and Lobbers. Who is Michael Hunt? The world – certainly Perth – is agog at his/her quality reporting and photography on the blog.

But even notorious bloggers need some rest and relaxation. We were disappointed this week’s coverage of L&L didn’t include their Rottnest trip last month.

L&L spent three glorious nights “marooned” on the beautiful island: “We road a total of 50km, which is a lot when you don't exercise regularly. We had many splendid adventures, many do not contain lovers or lobbers but are totally awesome so I'm posting them anyway.”

The photos are excellent. Mr & Mrs Hunt stayed at Tentland, swam in bays, appropriated a boat, had a wild party at the sizzling Hot Showers and observed the quokkas.

“We meet a shit load of mad cunts and toasted marshmallows and ate mi goreng sandwiches with them!”

* Excellent photo taken from the Lovers and Lobbers blog

Sunday, March 29, 2009

me hearty Flipper


Rottnest Island: home of buried pirate treasure, dolphins and palm trees.

I ask you. This ad was in the West yesterday, shilling the Lodge. The adventure BEGINS at the Lodge (which is the place to stay).

The Lodge has it's own website: the dolphin and treasure themes aren't continued.

"The unique history of Rottnest Island will captivate you, whilst the natural beauty is a constant reminder that Rottnest Island is a true gift from mother nature for all to enjoy."

They have a book online and get a 15 per cent discount thing. Which you can spend on treasure underneath the palm trees.

"The Mediterranean-style climate and indigenous flora and fauna of this Island provide the backdrop to a special holiday experience."

Conditions apply.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

little fury and drunk Vikings


Lots of people go to the beautiful island. Some recent visitors:

djganzer had some issues with ferry times, but eventually made it and was impressed. S/he loved the "little fury marsupials" that are quokkas. The waves were also impressive: bigger than Monterey.

The Mandurah Mail had the skinny on a Halls Head teacher who files there for the weekend. Very nice.

Scarlet Down Under arrived with no roof over her head but after some escapades bedded down with some drunken Norwegians. She caught the fairy.

And check out the Kaplan Aspect Event Page for pics of Kaplan Employees on the beach and in the tunnels.

Rottnest has something for everyone.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

30 years ago tomorrow


We had a look at the unauthorised biography of Kim Hughes for Australian Rules: check it out here.

We're not as level-headed as Football Therapist Les Everett: we know he would have excised any mention of the Rottnest incident in the review.

It was the rest day of Australia versus Pakistan at the WACA: 28 March 1979. The Golden Boy made a paltry 9 in his team's first innings. On the rest day some reporters had gone to the beautiful island to fish; most of the players headed there too. Journo Mike Coward was working in his Travelodge Motel room.

"Catch of the day came to him. 'Oh,' said the maid, 'nice old bunfight last night.'"

A party attended by players from both teams was a "ripper". Beer bottles saild from balconies, a car was damaged, a motel door busted.

As you may now, what happens within the team often stays within the team - but the pre-Rotto party was different. The cops had been called.

"But once the police were involved you knew you had a responsibility, because if suddenly there was a court appearance and you hadn't done your job properly you'd be in more trouble than the early settlers," Coward told Christian Ryan.

Marvellous stuff. Australia won the Test by seven wickets.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

o bay


Our sympathies to the two blokes who got carbon monoxide poisoning at Rotto recently.

According to this report, they were in their 20s. According to this report, they were at the back of a "pleasure craft".

"They were both improving getting oxygen therapy, which at the moment we're assuming they are probably [suffering from] carbon monoxide poisoning which we'd have to assume was from exhaust that's yet to be confirmed," the RFDS's Dr Geoff Day told the ABC.

We liked the photo with the Aunty story - apparently from the National Trust. A very moody Thomson Bay. But the mouseover text refers to "Thompson's Bay". We don't know if that's the fault of the ABC or the NT.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

porcine


Porquoi?

It's a quokka, Jim, but not as we know it.

Here's the work-in-progress of commercial radio station 92.9's ambitious giant quokka.

It's going to be three metres...the RIA are still distinctly luke-warm.

What do you make of the plans, reproduced here?

Doesn't the face look, um, a bit like - well, a pig?

We haven't seen many pigs on the beautiful island.

Perhaps these plans are more the big picture, and the face is still in the planning process.

Monday, March 16, 2009

bottom and middle dwellers


Those wobbegong don't muck around: the one that bit the bloke off the natural jetty on the beautifulk island narrowly missed his groin, according to The West online.

The bloke trod on him. 15 stitches. A boffin says it's self-defence:

“If you tread on a wobbegong it is likely to react but so are a lot of other marine animals,” Dr Rory McAuley told The West Online.

“There are any number of things that will bite you if you tread on them in shallow water including scorpion fish, sea urchins and small reef sharks.

“Generally wobbegongs are sedentary species and will mind their own business. If this guy had put his foot down either side of the shark it probably would not have reacted and the guy wouldn’t even have known it was there.”

Nice underwater Rotto pics from this blogger. Scroll down a bit to see some submerged stingers. Now they hurt when they get hold of you.

See the above accompanying pic for our own exclusive image of a rapture of the deep...

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Colossus Quokkaus


'The people of Perth have spoken and surprisingly what they want the most above posh hotels and decent camping facilities, is a Big Quokka.'

So says commercial radio station 92.9. The broadcaster is running a campaign to build a big quokka on the beautiful island.

This was covered yesterday in that estimable paper The Post. It may have been edited, but the paper spoke to the Rottnest Society, who pointed out we already have some big things: a lighthouse, a wind turbine, bakery prices (ha ha ha!).

But the station is resolute, despite a luke-warm response from the RIA.

'A Big Quokka to rival the massive Banana, Prawn and other the things in Australia that are massive for no other reason other than we can. Unfortunately the Rottnest authorities have put the kibosh on our plans and aren't returning our calls. Sign this petition to let them know how much you really want the Big Quokka.'

If there is going to be a giant quokka, the station could do worse than use this quokka puppet made by The Lazy Aussie (he of the Geoff Gallop bust crafted from masking tape fame) some years ago.

I can see this poised over Thomson Bay like Helois adorned Rhodes. 30m high would be about right.

Friday, March 13, 2009

syndrome


The beautiful island continues to generate news overseas. But we can't tell if this is good or bad:

愛上一個城市的理由有很多種,也許是城市建築之美,或者是藴涵的文化之深

It's all, um, Greek to us. But of course it's not Greek.

We understood part of this bit:

那一天,我們在碧海藍天下繞著澳洲的rottnest島騎了5個小時的自行車

Hopefully our Mandarin associates will be able to shed some light on this matter. The pics are lovely.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

TRG in TB


There was excitement in Thomson Bay this morning: oh to have been up at dawn and having a coffee in Colebatch or another well-placed bungalow.

'Police have charged a 44 year old man after a domestic dispute saw him take a boat to Rottnest Island during the early hours of this morning,' says the police media release.

The police will allege the man told his partner he had a firearm and was going to float to the beautiful island.

Rotto officers glommed the vessel and alerted the Terribly Rough Guys, who broke out their rigid inflatable.

They boarded the vessel after sunrise, the man was taken into custody without incident and a .22 calibre rifle was found on board.

We love the closing line in the release: 'The man has been charged with Possessing an Unlicensed Fireman and has been summonsed to appear in court at a later date.'

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

have an art


A little-known scene of one of the western suburbs' most picturesque streets is being auctioned to raise money for bushfire victims in Victoria.

The watercolour of Rottnest's Thomson Bay is by Maurice M. Kennedy, a WA artist well-known a generation ago.

The artwork shows the blue water of the Bay beyond two buildings in the distinctive Rottnest Orange shade.

Kennedy's works can fetch more than $1000, but the woman auctioning it picked it up for far less.

“I got it at Karrinyup markets for not very much,” Liz Evans told Rotto Bloggo.

“The streetscape captures the essence of the island.

“I haven't been to Rottnest for a long time but I think people take the place for granted.”

Ms Evans said she really felt for bushfire victims.

“There's building going on right next door to us: there's noise and dust all the time,” she said.

“I thought to myself: 'I can't live like this any more'.

“But then I thought: 'At least I've got a home, unlike many of the bushfire victims'.”

The artwork is on local auction website Tradeaway and bids are being taken until March 14.

The site will match the winning bid and send the money to Victoria.

By the time the POST went to press the highest bid was $150.

That could be a bargain, according to local valuer Gregson Flanagan.

“In local circles Kennedy is quite well-known and well-regarded,” Patricia Flanagan said.

“He generally painted scenes of Perth.

“I haven't seen a Rottnest scene by him before: this one could be from the 1950s or 60s.”

The artwork is 35cm by 65cm and professionally framed.

“This is a very fine example of Kennedy's work,” Ms Flanagan said.

“Kennedy's highest price at auction for a watercolour of similar dimension was $880.

“The picture is definitely a collector's item and appears almost as fresh as the day it was painted.

“It's a bright summer's day on Rottnest and Kennedy has captured the dappled sunlight on the path and trees so confidently.

“His brush strokes are quick and self assured and the two figures at the end of the pathway add a human element to the composition.

“I don't remember seeing a work by Kennedy with a figure before but this is definitely by him and makes it relatively unique.

“The picture was probably painted around 11am because of the position of the shadow.

“It was probably a personal picture depicting a summer holiday at Rottnest with his family.

Little is known about Kennedy: he won the Claude Hotchkin prize for watercolour in 1954 and 1960.

Another Kennedy painting, 'Summer Gold, Wanneroo', is in Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital's art collection.

Originally in the Post: marvelous paper...

Monday, March 02, 2009

glass act


Apologies for the eight day hiatus. We hope service will return to normal this week and month.

A source sent us this pic. The source's source was a Channel 7 identity. The sharp-eyed will be able to identify it as Rottnest. A few other things place it in the last 70s or early/mid 80s.

We love the beer in glasses. We can barely remember being able to buy jugs on the beautiful island. Now it's gone the same way as everyone else (no glass, no BYO food, don't have too much fun).

Sunday, February 22, 2009

viva Vincent


Lordy. We feel as though we're recovering from the Swim.

The wedding of the century yesterday at Tranby House. A beautiful union. Endless sparkling!

Today has been slow. Just concentrating on the basics. A big help is thinking thoughts about quiet time on Rottnest.

In the lead-up to yesterday's bunfight, we bought this card - for a dollar - at a florist in the Bassendean shops.

'First Light Vincent Way' is by Shirley Fisher. Gazing at it while in a semi-recumbent posture is soothing. Imagining the wind wafting through the trees.

Head pounding, pounding
Wishing for water, yearning
For time on Rotto.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Cohen wins


It's all over for another year, and a Cohen is a big winner.

According to WA Today, James Cohen led the teams winner at the swim.

David Graham, Simon Huitenga and Chris Timms were with the Rotto champ.

David Cox was first man in, Jaime Bowler was first woman and the Nederpelts were first due.

"That final 400m into Thompson Bay is exhilarating - for teams, duos, and solos alike. This may be because you can see the beer garden at the pub," said Simon Beaumont in this other WA Today item.

At least the image is by us.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Early start


A few hours to go.

Good luck to all the swimmers tomorrow. Just think of the beautiful island as you plough through Gage Roads and you'll be there in no time.

We would be with you, but nuptial commitments mean we will be far, far away from the coast.

Here's a marvelous story about some marvelous swimmers. It's also on the front page of tomorrow's Post. The pic is by brilliant photographer Paul McGovern.

--

Red Frogs? Check. Custom-made Bare Essentials togs? Check. Dad in the support boat? Check. A good night's sleep? Check.

Three Earl girls and their friend Katherine are all set to help their mate Patrick.

The fearless foursome will plunge into the water at Cottesloe Beach and swim to Rottnest on Saturday to raise funds for diabetes research.

Jessie Earl, 22, and her sisters Maggie (18) and Cathryn (15) and Katherine Loughnan (15) will get up at about 5am before their wave leaves the beach at seven-thirty.

They'll be thinking about Patrick during the four-and-a-half hours it takes them to get to Thomson Bay.

“I've had type 1 diabetes since I was ten months old,” Patrick told the POST.

“I'm insulin-dependent, so anything the girls can raise towards research will be good enough.”

It's the sixth time Jessie has swum to raise money for diabetes.

She's being doing the swim since she was 12.

Saturday will be Katherine's first Rottnest swim. It will be Cathryn's second, and the third or fourth for Maggie.

“We'll take turns at five to ten-minute shifts in the water,” Jessie said.

“During the swim we eat Mars Bars, and Starbust and Red Frog lollies.”

The Earls aren't slouches in the water: last year they were second out of all groups of four.

Katherine is excited about swimming to the beautiful island for the first time.

“I'm enthusiastic, fit and ready to rumble,” she said.

Jessie said she wasn't nervous and the team was well-prepared.

“The biggest obstacle is the cold and trying to keep warm,” she said.

“We're taking lots of towels.”

Sharks weren't a worry.

“There are so many boats and people in the water they're not a concern,” Jessie said.

The girls will be watched over by Mr Earl in a boat and Patrick's dad paddling beside them.

Patrick won't be in the water with his friends.

“I'll be catching the 10am ferry from North Fremantle and meeting them over there,” he said.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

get into rehab


Weeding and sand dune rehabilitation can be deadly dull...except when it's on Rottnest.

The tireless Rottnest Society wants volunteers to spend some time helping improve the beautiful island later this year.

Dune rehabilitation and revegetation is June 12 to 14; tree planting is July 31 to August 2; and weeding is September 18 to 20.

The Society has booked Caroline Thomson cabins for volunteers.

“The Rottnest Island Authority will provide ferry vouchers plus Saturday night’s accommodation in exchange for 10 hours work over Saturday and Sunday,” said the Society's Sue Folks.

“Volunteers will pay $20 for Friday night’s accommodation and provide their own meals.”

For further details contact Sue on 9438 1413, 0411 880 199 or convenor@rottnestsociety.org.au.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Gage Roads for sale


We were down at Cottesloe Beach today (doing yet another Rottnest Channel Swim story) and could barely see the beautiful island for the number of ships out in the Roads.

The Swim swimmers we spoke to agreed the number seemed greater than usual. They said there's normally only a couple on the big day.

One chap we interviewed is catching the 10am ferry to meet his swimming peeps when they stagger onto the sand of Thomson Bay.

The boat pictured is up for grabs on eBay: a mere $57,000 for a seven metre fibreglass powerboat which is great for 'Walkaround, Fishing, Rottnest'.

'Gage Roads is 23 foot & features the full walk-around cabin which gives you the best of both worlds, with shelter and comfort regardless of how interesting your adventure gets.

T'he deep and beamy design and bow seating makes using the front of the boat easy and the walk-around gives all-over access. The helm area is fully enclosed with full wrap-around screen, clears and beautiful stainless steel bar work.'

No bids as yet. No postage costs - strictly pick-up only, from Kingsley.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Vale Fitzy


Imagine having a Rotto villa named after you.

That was one of the achievements of John Fitzhardinge - there were many others.

The Post ran an obit on John, but half of it was - for some mysterious reason - left out.

Here at Rotto Bloggo space isn't an issue, and we're proud to bring you the full article.

John Fitzhardinge 1911-2008

John Fitzhardinge had the rare honour of having a villa on Rottnest named for him.

The Thomson Bay pad was named for John after his pivotal role in developing the Geordie Bay and Longreach settlements while on the Rottnest Island Board.

John's island idylls were just one episode in an action-packed, fun-loving life of achievement and community service.

He served in World War Two, was a distinguished architect, played a crucial role in WA's America's Cup win and was a generous soul.

John Berkeley Fitzhardinge was born in 1911 in Manly, NSW. His family moved to Perth 18 years later, at the height of the Great Depression, when his father became Chief Inspector WA with the Bank of NSW.

John brought his 16-foot skiff with him: the first of his boatbuilding ventures. He was a keen rugby and tennis player, and became captain of the Perth Rugby Union team.

John joined the architectural firm Eales Cohen and qualified as an architect in 1934. He became a partner two years later when it became Eales Cohen and Fitzhardinge. After the war he founded Forbes and Fitzhardinge with his brother-in-law Bill Forbes. The firm was one of the largest architectural firms in WA for 30 years.

In 1939 John enlisted in the 2/3rd Field Regiment, which arrived in England during the Battle of Britain and the evacuation of Dunkirk. John was shipped to North Africa and then to Greece where he was commissioned as Captain and leader of E Troop, 6th Battery.

“Last year Dad and I were watching the 7.30 Report: Kerry O’Brien interviewed a guy about his memoirs, and asked what was the best thing he had done,” John's daughter Jody recalled.
“I posed the same question to Dad: his immediate reply was: 'Surrendering to the Italian submarine”.'

At 1.30am on June 1, 1941, a submarine came up beside the barge that John and his escaping party had fitted out to take them from Galini in Crete to North Africa.

“Dad, worried about his charges being blown out of the water, dived overboard and swiftly swam 60 metres and pretty much surfed up the side of the sub,” Jody said.

“In his schoolboy French, he managed to make a deal with the astonished Italians. The deal was, if he and the other officers gave themselves up, the Italians would let the rest of the men go.

“The Italians accepted his terms, he saved his men from being taken prisoners, or being blown up, and they made it safely to North Africa.”

John was a prisoner of war for four years in Italy and Germany – but was inspirational even during imprisonment.

He painted, played in the orchestra, wrote and acted in plays and cooked a Christmas meal for 1,000 men.

He was later awarded an MBE for effecting his men's escape from Crete.

When John returned from war he set about making a significant mark on Perth.

He was also an urban planner, the National President of the Royal Institute of Planners (now the Planning Institute of Australia), and for many years a member of the Town Planning Board (WA).

He was especially proud of designing the bike paths around the river, the Hay St Pedestrian Mall (at the time, the second in the world), and for UWA's Sunken Gardens.

“When Winthrop Hall was being built, the site next to it was dug for mortar and the architects weren’t sure what to do with the hole,” Jody said.

“Someone suggested getting Fitzy along to have a look ‘as he was artistic’ and he came up with the idea of an amphitheatre.

“Dad was also the earliest exponent in WA of underground power lines – in fact of all utilities being concealed - and effected the change at Rottnest from overhead to underground power.”

Then there was sailing. From 1960 to 1962 John was Commodore of Royal Perth Yacht Club. He built his yacht Theanna on his front lawn, and in 1970 won the inaugural Perth to Albany race in his craft and held the race record for nearly 25 years.

John was a founding member of the Perth Game Fishing Club with Garrick Agnew, Carl Georgheff and others, and they were the first to fish the Rottnest Trench.

By 1978 John was an Officer of the Order of Australia for distinguished service to yachting and urban planning.

Then, in 1982, he resigned from various boards to dedicate his energies to the America’s Cup Team, of which he had been a member since 1974.

John Bertrand said John left an indelible mark on the campaign that saw Australia II wrest the Cup from the New York Yacht Club.

“I will never forget his playing of the bagpipes at our crew house during the A2 campaign in Newport,” Bertrand said.

“Holding an upturned chair as the ‘bagpipes’ and holding his nose with his other hand...his performances were the perfect remedy to add the humour that was vital during the summer of ’83, particularly when we were three-one down against the Americans. Fitzy will be remembered by many people for many things.”

Cup-winning starboard grinder Will Baillieu described John as a “larrikin in a blazer”.

“He was an absolute legend and will be terribly missed by all of us,” he said.

“He was a lovable rogue disguised with perfect style. He had a sharp eye, and a wonderful wit. Our team morale was largely due to his humour.”

Retirement wasn't in the Fitzhardinge vocabulary: during the 1990s he was as busy as ever working as a consultant.

As he saw in the new millennium he still had a very strong grip on life: racing on the Swan River every week, drawing up the occasional house plan, heading off on travels (fishing in Shark Bay and the Abrolhos Islands and trips to Greece and other parts of Europe.

During his last four years John lived with Jody and her husband Peter at their home in North Fremantle.

“For a man who had been so fiercely independent and physically adept at everything he did, so in control of the many aspects of his life, he was enormously gracious and dignified in accepting the help he increasingly needed as his body lost the ability to respond to his ever keen mind,” Jody said.

“We all felt blessed to have been part of his extraordinary life.”

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Sunday excursion


Here's some ripper copy about the beautiful island, snatched from the pages of The West Australian:

'Marine Excursions. - The excursion steamers Gannet and Eleanor were largely patronised yesterday on the usual Sunday excursion to Rottnest, each vessel having a full complement of passengers. Favoured with delightful weather the trip was a most enjoyable one. The passengers were landed at Fremantle on the return journey bofore dark.'

Largely patronised? Delightful. Most enjoyable.

It's from the West of April 18, 1898. We got to this by idly clicking on a Google News search result: at the side of the page there's an option for getting results from the 1890s.

It's the result of a National Library thing to digitise old papers. They seem to have stuff from the Perth Gazette and West Australian Journal starting from the 1830s.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

swimsuit


It's only February - Happy Valentine's Day - but we may have already seen the Rottnest news story of the year.

'A woman is suing her husband for running over her leg with his boat in Thomson Bay during the Rottnest Channel Swim three years ago.'

Look. If you bash someone with a boat you have to expect the worst. This otherwise outstanding Philippa Perry story doesn't give vessel details.

'Wendy De Bie, 50, of Halls Head, was a first-time competitor in the 19.2km swim in 2006, swimming in the team event with her family.

'But towards the end of the race, which was one of the worst crossings on record because of weather conditions, Mrs De Bie’s leg got caught in the propeller of her support boat and was severely gashed.'

The family that swims (and sues) together stays together.

“I just got picked up by a wave and just basically thrown up against the back of the boat,” she said this week. “I had a smashed femur and lost a lot of blood.”

'Mrs De Bie has lodged a writ in the District Court claiming her husband, Arend Abraham De Bie, negligently skippered their boat, Pletemella, in Thomson Bay, causing her injuries.'

Hard to sue the wave. Maybe Mrs De Bie will also sue the Rottnest Island Authority for not providing a safe swimming experience in Thomson Bay? What does Pletemella mean?

Friday, February 13, 2009

rotto barbies


Goodness: breaking news on Perth Now about Rottnest. Someone has been bitten by a 'potentially lethal' snake.

'It is believed the victim was bitten about 3.45pm today and will be flown to Sir Charles Gairdner Hospital. More coming.'

We hope so. The accompanying pic is of a lizard - it's the best we can do.

The beautiful island has also been mentioned in high art. Alexander McCall Smith (whom Rotto Bloggo once interviewed at Cottesloe, within sight of Rotto) has this in Corduroy Mansions.

“We had great parties at uni,” said Jo. “We used to go over for weekends to Rottnest Island and have barbies. Someone would get out a guitar and we’d sing. Out there in the darkness, under all those stars.”

“A beautiful image,” said Caroline. “I can just see it.”

This is an online novel by McCall Smith, who writes like you and we breathe. We recently saw him quoted, or quoted as saying, 'there's no such thing as writer's block. People who can't write have nothing to say'.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

villa d'angst


'The stunning coastline and azure waters of Rottnest demanded a simple and classic design.'

I don't think we've blogged about the house for fabled film Under the Lighthouse Dancing before. See here for pics of the domicile - the work of Eastwood Design.

What do you think? Casual, 'Matisse motifs', a lot of blue, shutters and bi-folds. There's a hint of Bali/Lombok there, yes?

How we wish UTLD was a better film. Not too many are made on the beautiful island.

It gets 5.6/10 on IMDB. Some of the user comments on the site are interesting:

'There was a reason for the Australian media to have it in for this production: lead actress Jacqueline MacKenzie was nominated in the 1997 Australian Film Awards for two other films in two equal Best actress categories: one was a Melbourne cinema-movie drama ANGEL HEART and another was a TV movie. As LIGHTHOUSE was filming at the time, the producers and director (incredibly) refused to let her leave the set and briefly travel back to the Eastern States to the Awards night. She was extremely upset. Then, to the collective embarrassment of everyone she won the two awards for both roles, an unheard-of achievement in Australian type "Emmy/Oscar". But she wasn't there to be on stage, she was stuck on the LIGHTHOUSE set, missing out on the one mighty acting awards achievement accolade of her career. As a result, there was an almost mutiny against Director Rattigan and the film was doomed to be the sour blot on his and her career. The actors refused to allow ANY publicity on LIGHTHOUSE, walked through the rest of their roles and laughed out loud at the mention of the film getting released.'

The house was re-built in Attadale.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

rotto helitac


Emergency services are ready should there be a conflagration on the beautiful island.

Rotto Bloggo was at the airport yesterday writing about helitacs: fire-fighting helicopters. We took many photos and have been poring over the resultant chopper porn.

But we always have Rottnest on our mind. So we asked: as well as Kings Park and the hills, do the heitacs put out the blazes on Rotto?

They haven't lately. But they do a bit of practice there. Inflatable pools are set up with water, and the helitacs hover over the plastic while sucking it up.

We didn'get a pic of that, but here's a photo of a sheet pinned up in helitac HQ: it's on the list.

Friday, February 06, 2009

'exponential beauty'


"You know how in tourism advertisements for warm places like Australia, they always show white sandy beaches, clear blue water, and girls in bikinis? And sure, you think, those things exist - but surely that's an optimistic or idealistic view of the destination. Those places must be remote, or few and far between, or cost a pretty penny to get to. Well as it turns out, they are here in Australia, and not just here and there, but everywhere! It's hard to believe it when you see it -- that water can be that clear, sand that soft, girls that skinny."

We like the cut of sarahdownundah's jib. She has a lovely post on the beautiful island, and some excellent pics of skinks and bays.

"...the island has a certain charm about it and its beauty is simply exponential." Righteous.

We must include a small mention of the RCS (15 days to go). We saw this poll, asking for the 'Top Ten Moments in Open Water Swimming History'. Imagine our dismay when the Rotto event has attracted hardly any votes.

Leading the poll is something called the 1956 Traversata dello Stretto. Then there's John Kinsella (we assume no the JK who writes poetry about the Wheatbelt) in second place. Matthew Webb's English Channel effort is third.

Gerd von Dincklage-Schulenburg's epic 1956 journey has a mere five votes, out of more than 700 cast. Come on people!

Many thanks to sarahdownundah for permission to use her pic.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Simon and David go Rotto


“The black line on the bottom of the pool does not prepare you for Gage Roads.”

So says Simon Beaumont in this excellent item on the forthcoming Rottnest Channel Swim.

The super-fit broadcast boy hasn’t been spending enough time in salty water to get him in swim-shape.

“This has been the summer of the shark sighting, this has been the summer of no open water swimming, this will be the Channel Swim when I sink like a Colin Barnett election promise.”

I reckon David Byrne isn’t swimming to Rotto today. According to the ABC, the 56-year-old Talking Head could be on the beautiful island. Mrs Rotto Bloggo was at the zoo last night, but she didn’t mention if he said he’d be there. Keep an eye out for him and send us a pic if you spot him at the Basin or the hotel.

Today’s pic is ‘That’s Rotto’, a fine artwork by Debra Corbett. Check it (and other works) out here.

Monday, February 02, 2009

swim story city


Rotto Bloggo spake, and it was thus: a flood of Rottnest Channel Swim stories today.

Everyone on Facebook is complaining about the weather. Not so bad on the beautiful island, of course: humidity was at 92 per cent a little while ago, but the max temp was only about 27 degrees (at 11.30am).

The water would have been a good place to be. But alas the triple crossing attempt by Chloe McCardel was abandoned 'cos of tough times.

'The 23-year-old open water swimmer was just 5km from Rottnest Island, near the end of the second crossing of the channel, when 25 to 35 knot winds and strong currents made the feat impossible.'

WA Today have a nice story of a woman who did the crossing last year in nearly 12 hours: Ginger Nuts helped her through.

In fact WA Today have lots of Swim stories: they are a naming sponsor, fo' shizzle.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

over the trench


The Rottnest swim is this month, and the number of news stories about the event should move from a trickle to a shower.

Here's one from WA Today: a 23-year-old from Melbourne wants to swim there. And back. And to Rottnest again. All in the one go.

'Only two people have completed a double crossing, so McCardel wants to create race history and go the extra distance.

"The longest I've ever swum is 40 kilometres and that's in a pool so I'm looking for a challenge and a lot of excitment and to be part of the history, so that will do that all in one go," McCardel said.'

Ye gods. She has a nice pink cap, so good luck to her. Here's some insight from another swimmer about the swim, which goes over the Rottnest Trench:

"One of the things I found during my first swims across there is that you're going across very deep water. I used to have my eyes open in the water and you'd see very dark shapes in the deep water and it really freaks you out," he said. "You don't know if it's a big fish, because you do see stingrays over there and dolphins and sometimes hammerhead sharks, or if it's a cloud creating a reflection or a big mass of seaweed so one of my suggestions is don't look … you're better off not knowing."

Saturday, January 31, 2009

jetty jettisoned


Isn't the Post marvellous? The paper (which covers Perth's Golden Triangle) is strong on its Rotto coverage. Today is no different: news of the impending doom of the hotel jetty.

'The hotel jetty at Rottnest will soon be no more,' the Post's exclusive begins.

'The Rottnest Island Authority says it's too old and unsafe. The authority called for tenders to demolish the jetty, which is in front of the Quokka Arms Hotel in Thomson Bay, and build a new one.'

The RIA's Bruce Simpson boats can't tie up against it and the engineer decided to get a new one.

It seems likely the jetty was built in the 1950s. The new version will be steel-framed and timber-decked, with berths for six boats, pedestrian lighting, hand rails and a power supply.

Rotto Bloggo's father-in-law is very handy: perhaps he should put in a bid.

When the jetty was last open bookings were $23 a night.

'Tourism WA would not release a photo of the jetty to accompany this report,' the Post said.

Good thing we have this artistic version of the structure.

In other Rottnest news, check out Fremantlebiz's writing on the forgotten cricket pitch on the beautiful island - sensational stuff.

Friday, January 30, 2009

rotto crime wave


More than five per cent of Rottnest homes were broken in to during the last financial year.

The beautiful island is worse for breaks-ins than Scarborough, Gosnells, Fremantle and Cannington.

Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout Willis? It is so, according to this strange blog, which doesn’t list the source for the data.

Rotto Bloggo is sceptical. The place isn’t immune to crime, to be sure (remember that illegal beach drinking?) but are that many villas and bungalows violated?

Also puzzling is this blog: “Over the Christmas break I managed to get across to Rottnest for a day and take a couple of photos.”

But there aren’t any photos.

Much more satisfying and informative was this Beatrice Thomas story in The West this week on the woes of the planned luxury hotel.

‘The planned 4½-star, 120-room complex overlooking Longreach Bay has been touted as the island’s most sumptuous accommodation but has been bogged down with contractual issues. It culminated in claims last month by the Rottnest Society and a prominent developer that the project would be scrapped because of the economic downturn.’

We could have a decision on whether the hotel is a goer today.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

clean it up


Why not pop across to the beautiful island tomorrow and take out the trash?

We see the Clean Up Australia Day campaign has a (very small) presence on Rottnest: you're invited to gather at Longreach, near the villas, at 9am for an hour's rubbish removal.

Jennie Anderton is the contact: 0434 825 906. According to the site she's the only volunteer so far. Give her a hand!

You''ll recall there was some unwelcome fireworks action on Rotto two years ago: flares from boat(s) off Longreach "ignited the eastern end of Fays Bay at around 9.45 p.m.".

“It was very fortunate that the wind was blowing in a South/South Easterly direction as sparks blown inland could have ignited the whole Island”, an RIA bugle said the day after.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

snifters past


Rotto Bloggo was thrilled to sneak the word "snifter" into a news story this week.

In a front-page effort on the Post, there was this sentence: 'But that doesn't mean mums and dads enjoying a quiet snifter of semillion sauvignon blanc won't be spoken to by the boys and girls in blue.'

The story was about the usual warnings about imbibing at the Australia Day fireworks on the mainland. Rotto Bloggo went to the first fireworks - 1988, if we remember right - and the most persistent memory is of a bloke being sick while leaning out of a car window in the post-event massive traffic jam.

Drinking in public is against the law. Will police target everybody? How is this relevant to the beautiful island?

We saw some illegal public drinking on Geordie Bay on New Year's Eve 2006. We were on our plush beachfront balcony at 8pm, waiting for the glorious sunset (love that daylight saving). Two female senior citizens wandered onto the sand, each with a glass of something cool and white. They were a million miles from hooliganism and anti-social behaviour.

But - such a flagrant transgression could not go unchecked. A fat rent-a-cop wobbled onto the beach, yelling and gesticulating. He wasn't pleased. The women, cowed, left the beach. We yelled abuse at the fattyboomba from our balcony, but to no avail.

Friday, January 23, 2009

hungry for rotto


Rotto is the place to get in shape for a figure competition.

We know this because Jehanne Newby is starving herself and doing lots of walking so she can get down to 53kg. But even people in training for hard-body heaven need to relax...

'Had a sweet time in Rottnest with my gf Kath - it was a stinker day back in perth - 40deg or something - so out on the island it was cooler and just perfect for us. We swam, snorkelled, ate, lay in the sun and enjoyed our jet ride home! I am planning on an overnighter trip to Rottnest sometime soon - stay in one of the villas on the beach front and ride around the island (its about 25km round trip I think) to some cool little secluded snorkel spots - might wait for the kiddies to all go back to school though.'

Her blog post has a link to some Rotto pics on her Facebook site.

What a good idea (staying in a villa). It's only about four months until Rotto Bloggo is scheduled to be on the beautiful island...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

jumbo to rotto


"Are they flying jumbos to Rotto these days?"

No they are not. But this question was posed today on the incomparable The Worst of Perth. We loved it because it's a media anecdote that works in a Rotto mention.

Adrian related the tale of how someone tried to persuade him to work for the (long-vanished) Western Mail more than 20 years ago...

I walked into the newly built offices (up the road from Newspaper house, where the West Oz eventually took up residence I understand) and found Andre standing in the middle of this huge empty void.

I remember challenging him whether the damn thing would ever get off the ground, and he inveigled that I look around.

“Just look at this place, if we don’t t go daily and keep running a Sunday it would be like taking a jumbo jet to Rottnest,” he exclaimed.


Then, as now, there was a lot of inveigling going on.

In other Rottnest news, we saw this account of the beautiful island on a site called IslandSity (motto: 'Digging out all the islands of the world'). Sample copy:

Where the moist salty beach sand seems tattooed on your toes, and your hair takes on a lived in look. But don’t worry about your ‘do’, because Rottnest Island is just not a hairdryer kind of place.

Harmless enough. But it rang a faint bell...we surfed over to seabreeze.com.au and - my goodness! - saw this on their sailing marina profile:

Where the moist salty beach sand seems tattooed on your toes, and your hair takes on a lived in look. But don't worry about your 'do', because Rottnest Island is just not a hairdryer kind of place.

Read either: they're both equally positive about Rotto.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

bends over



That media release we slagged off recently about The Doctor got some traction in places: see this recycled effort in the Byron Shire Echo for more converging paddlers, elite shaping and pure downwind.

It's enough to drive you 'round the bends.

Meanwhile...the winner of The Doctor was Clint Robinson, 36, a five-time Olympian who led from the start. See this report for deets and quotes.

People have been asking about those Rottnest Island jeans. I've never seen them here. That's the point of shopping on Teh Intertubes!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

rottnest jeans


“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”

Thank you Mr Wilde. If Oscar was around today we’re certain he would don Rottnest Island Jeans from RM Williams.

We liked this photo in the W magazine yesterday, in The West Australian. Actually there was a lot to like in W…but this photo was the best visual offering.

It’s by award-winning photographer Astrid Volzke, and shows Emily (unknown number of awards) sporting summer gear somewhere on Rotto. Could be Thomson Bay.

Those beaded sleeves cost something like $1400, and the swimmers are “price on application”.

Friday, January 16, 2009

sexy sinecure


It works out at more than $3000 per blog post.

Surely you've seen stories about Hamilton Island in the Whitsundays wanting to hire someone to live there for six months? Here's one in the New York Times ('Temp Job in Paradise').

Some reports say the job's website is crashing 'cos of the interest:
certainly we haven't been able to see the conditions of the gig. But if you're getting $150,000 and you only have to blog once a week, it's a sexy sinecure.

We're disappointed to report to you Rottnest is not considering a similar stunt. This is unfortunate and short-sighted. Let's compare Hamilton Island with our own jewel...

FACT: Hamilton resembles a deformed Mickey Mouse-style head, while ours looks like a graceful drumstick.

FACT: Hamilton is plagued by putt-putting and farting golf buggies, whereas WA's "summer holiday playground" has non-polluting bikes.

FACT: Hamilton is owned by a crowd called the Oatley family: Rotto is by the people, for the people (or is supposed to be, at least).

FACT: "Hamilton Island has a collection of wet drowned mountains", according to Wikipedia, while the very same source says our island is a "well-maintained wildlife preserve".

FACT: The name of the place in Queensland makes one think of a over-tanned superannuated movie star and/or an over-muscled Saturn-winning movie star terrified of the Terminator, while Rottnest makes one think of...heaven.

OK: clearly we don't need a $150K blogger on Rottnest, as the beautiful island doesn't need it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

like a drumstick


A bloke called Andrew Bain is the latest to extol the virtues of the beautiful island.

Andrew's effort - here in The Age - is better than the usual. It's the first description we've seen of quokkas being Lilliputian. Rotto is "drumstick-shaped". Little Salmon Bay is a "jewel".

And he likes a board game: "The island gift shop even sells a "Rottnest Island Cycle" board game, celebrating the island's reputation as a virtual velodrome in the sea."

It's illustrated with a Lonely Planet pic of Longreach Bay.

Strangely-shaped drumstick. Let's hope he got to Brett Heady's Family Fun Centre as well.

We were talking today with a copper who was on Rotto for many years. He said the biggest problem are mobile phones. Before mobiles, people had to schlep to a phone box to report things. But now if there's a loud party next door they can call from the safety of their villa. He didn't appreciate the instant communication.

Monday, January 12, 2009

wretches


If not for the tonnage of the gormless crew...this good ship was spotted going
down to the Locker on New Year's Eve.

It will soon be added to this Wikipedia list of shipwrecks around Rottnest.

'This same Davy Jones, according to sailors, is the fiend that presides over all the evil spirits of the deep, and is often seen in various shapes, perching among the rigging on the eve of hurricanes:, ship-wrecks, and other disasters to which sea-faring life is exposed, warning the devoted wretch of death and woe.' (Tobias Smollett, The Adventures of Peregrine Pickle)

Sail across to the mainland to also see this frightening image being given The Worst of Perth treatment.

Many thanks to Stephen N. for the photo.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

rottnest romance #29

Here we go: the exciting denouement of Chapter Three in Rottnest Romance, the only Bills and Moon novel set on WA's "summer holiday playground".

Will Nick pull Larissa (safely back to Thomson Bay)? Will he whip out his monkey wrench back at her place, so he can fix her cotter pin? What about his girfriend and/or secretary Ashleigh Kane: will she be waiting at Larissa's place, ready to brain her with a stale bakery baguette?

It all rushes to a climax today on Rotto Bloggo. After this there are only seven chapters to go!

--

Another incline loomed before them. She could feel his strength as it was transmitted through the taut rope. Again his legs pumped up and down, and again she nervously concentrated on steering and ensuring she didn’t stare at his strong legs for too long.

At last they glided down a gently-sloping hill, with salt lakes on either side of the road ahead of them. They were nearly there. She was impressed at his stamina – they hadn’t stopped since she had careered off the road earlier.

She called out in an encouraging tone. “Not much further to go now!”

“That’s good to hear,” he replied in a voice that sounded a bit winded. As strong as he seemed, he obviously wasn’t quite Superman, she thought.

As they came into the settlement she felt rather regal as she was towed along. The curious looks from various pedestrians didn’t bother as much this time.

Suddenly he raised his arms and called out. “Ashleigh!” He put on his brakes, and Larissa hurriedly did the same.

Ashleigh Kane walked over to them. She had a tote bag on her shoulder, and zinc cream on her nose.

“How was the beach?” Nick asked.

“What is going on?” she asked.

“Larissa had a spot of trouble with her bike, so I towed her back,” he explained.

“Oh. Why did you have to do that?”

“Ashleigh!” he said, rather sternly.

Larissa felt awkward. It must look a bit suspicious, she supposed – certainly if she was Nick’s girlfriend she would feel inclined to ask a few questions.

“Sorry,” Ashleigh muttered, “it didn’t mean to come out like that. Are you coming back to the Lodge soon, Nick?”

“Yes,” he replied, “I’ll just take Larissa to her cottage…”

She was hastily getting off her bike. “No need for that,” she piped up, rather breathlessly, “I can walk the rest of the way.”

She didn’t want to cause any trouble between them.

He smiled at her. “OK,” he said. “I’m pretty bushed anyway.” He bent down and untied the rope between their bikes.

“I’m not surprised, after all your huffing and puffing over me.” She winced – it sounded terrible, and might cause Ashleigh to be even more suspicious of her. She noticed the other woman looking at her dubiously – it was time to beat a retreat to her own door.

“Thanks very much, Nick – see you both later,” she said, and started wheeling her bike rapidly away from them. She could feel Ashleigh’s eyes on her back as she walked, and gave a small shiver despite the hot sun.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

converging paddlers


Need to be amused, made to feel superior, and learn something at the same time? Then you’ve made a wise choice in visiting Rotto Bloggo this weekend.

We’ve intercepted a media release that merits close examination. It’s about an event called The Doctor, a paddling race from Rottnest to Scarborough. We hadn’t heard of it before – but we admit we’re sometimes pretty gormless – but the associated website says this is the fifth year of The Doctor’s incarnation.

The first breathless par: ‘Olympic kayak hopeful Reece Baker will be on home waters next week when the planet’s best take their shot at World Cup glory in the richest ocean paddling race in Australia on January 17.’

The planet’s best? Should we quibble about World Cup: is a qualifier needed, as there are several?

‘With more than $30,000 on offer ‘The Doctor’, as the 23 kilometre marathon downwind paddle from Rottnest Island to the Scarborough Beach Auditorium is known, will see paddlers from all over the world converge on the Western Australian capital to take on Baker, former local Ben Allen and the country’s best open water paddlers including Tim Jacobs, Murray Stewart, Jeremy Cotter and Caine Eckstein.’

Paddlers converging! Will there be a wet whacking sound, when they get to close to each other, and their paddles start banging together? But OK.

‘Australia’s elite will shape against a host of international stars including legendary South African and reigning World Series champion Oscar Chalupsky, fellow leading South Africans Dawid Mocke and Hank McGregor, the 2008 champion from the famous Molokai to Oahu race, Tahitian Lewis Laughlin and paddlers from New Zealand, Hawaii, Asia and Europe.’

The elite will shape? Stars, legendary and famous paddlers…and then some from other countries, too.

‘Holmes will stage her own international battle with South African Olympian Michelle Eray and New Zealand star Katie Pocock both confirmed starters.’

Just a tic. Who, pray tell, is Holmes? Can’t be John Holmes. An international battle…like World War II, except not with tanks? And there’s no law that says you can’t use commas in successive pars.

‘The event, the brainchild of Perth born nine-time Molokai to Oahu winner Dean Gardiner and fellow WA paddling icon Ash Nesbitt, is one of only four 4star events in the surf ski world series and also features categories for outrigger canoes and the growing discipline of stand up surfboard paddling.’

Perth-born, please. The successive fours are clumsy. But ‘growing discipline’?

‘The outrigger canoe field will be headed by world number one Hawaiian Karel Tresnak, while the arduous stand up surfboard paddling race will feature world renowned Western Australian big wave surfers Damon Eastough and Courtenay Gray. Eastough has a cult following in the surfing industry and is a former winner of the Australian Oakley Big Wave contest.’

Cult following. Damon will be described as ‘mercurial’ next. All these things sound pretty arduous to me. Do you think Courtenay is a future winner of the AOBW?

‘Gardiner has been at the top of ocean paddling both as a competitor and a race promoter and organiser for almost two decades and the veteran believes ‘The Doctor’, now in its fifth year, is the world’s best pure downwind race.’

OK. What are the odds there’s a quote from the man himself coming up expanding on the purity and fat-freeness of The Doctor?

“This event has developed into the most competitive and coveted downwind race on the international ocean paddling calendar,” Gardiner said.

Why, pray tell, is it the most competitive?

“The fact it is a crossing, from Rottnest to the mainland, with just the paddlers and the open ocean makes it such a pure test of the paddler and the elements.

I’m not very nautical or sporty. But apart from the ocean and the paddlers, what else would there be?

“We have the best paddlers in the world coming to Western Australia’s summer playground and I know from talking to the overseas guys they are looking forward to taking on Australia’s best.”

WA’s summer playground! And it has 63 bays and is 4.5km at its widest point!

‘The event will be followed up by a 15km two person team relay from Fremantle to City Beach the next day, Sunday January 18.’

Just followed is fine, thank you. Or should we have followed down? Or followed through?

‘Both races are not just for the elite either with the event open to paddlers of all levels. Entries and event information can be found at http://www.oceanpaddler.com/.’

Either or. Or either. Are they desperate for entries?

I know it’s the PR person’s job to convey information to the media, and try and whip up an air of excitement about these things. But do they have to sound like a tired sports broadcaster going through the motions and fumbling with cliché?

And can we please spell Thomson Bay and kilometre correctly? (see the website for the error).

Friday, January 09, 2009

rottnest romance #28

A climax is approaching: the end of Chapter Three in Rottnest Romance, the only Bills and Moon novel set on the beautiful island. This is the penultimate 500-word instalment: if I blog about something else tomorrow we could read the exciting suspenseful thrilling engaging bit on Sunday.

There's been a request for a description of Larissa's legs, instead of Nick's. No can do. Do women want to read about shapely female gams in a romance novel? I think not. Will Nick be naked by the time they get back to Thomson Bay? Will Larissa have to blow air into his tyres? Stay tuned...

“How are you going – alright?” he called out as they reached the crest of the hill.


She gave a start, and quickly moved her eyes from his lower body. He hadn’t been looking back, though. “I’m fine,” she called in return. “Do stop if you want a rest, Nick.”

“We just started,” he said, eyes on the road ahead.

I know that, she thought crossly – it was just a suggestion.

He pressed on, past the track to Radar Reef. Again, irresistibly, her attention returned to the sight of his energetic body hard at work. The businessmen she had met before hadn’t been in as good shape as he was, she reflected. They had mostly been overweight and balding – they certainly hadn’t looked like him.

Another incline stretched before them, and he responded to the challenge with renewed vigour. Again he thrust his legs down with each push as he rose out of his seat. Again, her attention became transfixed at his fluid motions. His legs had a nice colour to them as well, she noticed…how did he get to spend so much time in the sun, with his way of life…?

Suddenly she realised she was about to veer off the surface of the road. She gave a yelp as her tyres rattled on the rough sand by the side of the road. They both came to halt as Nick applied his brakes.

Putting one foot on the ground, he twisted his body and looked back. “What’s going on? What did you do that for?”

“Sorry!” She felt like a complete idiot. Why hadn’t she been paying attention to her steering? He must think she was hopeless. “I, er, was looking at the bushes. There was something moving in there.”

“Where?” He peered in the direction in which she vaguely pointed.

“It’s gone now – probably just a bird or a quokka or something,” she said. What a feeble excuse, she thought nervously – what could he be thinking? “Sorry about that – shell we continue?”

He glanced at her, obviously unconvinced by her excuse. Then he turned around and, with both feet on the pedals, set off again.

She promised herself she would concentrate on keeping the bike on the road instead of staring at his body. It wasn’t as if it was asking the impossible.

For the next half-hour she managed to steer her bike in an adequate fashion, while stealing occasional glances at the passing flora. Gradually the lighthouse slipped by, this time on her left side. At one stage, when they were coasting down a hil, Nick rummaged in the bag on his handlebars and brought out his water bottle. With one hand casually guiding the bike he took a long draught of water.

As he did she noticed dark patches of perspiration were appearing on his shirt. By the time they reached Thomson Bay he would be dripping wet. She wasn’t going to suggest he take off his shirt, though, or anything like that – certainly not. It would probably provoke a sly comment or two from him, and she didn’t want that.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

sharks in the water


Man oh man…how much newsprint and airtime is going to be expended between now and the end of the Rotto Channel Swim on sharks, shark sightings and shark fear?

A lot. The poor old sharks. One hand a story about urging tough laws for people who slaughter them up north, and on the other loathing over them daring to dip a fin in Gage Roads (can’t locate link for that one).

‘there's many ways to die, the game is to survive,
come someone from behind, he'll eat you up alive.’

Of course we’ve been here before: it’s nothing new. See Robert Drewe, The Shark Net, for his recollection of his shark obsession…

“…it had to be that sharks were buried deep in my collective unconscious…clearly some of us were born with it – like the chicken’s instinct for the shadow of the hawk. It was amazing what I saw in the back-froth of a snapping wave, in the darker patchwork of weed and reef. Was that surge just a diving shag? Was the shadow really a passing cloud? Or the first and last hint of the white pointer’s charge? This, I thought, was obviously the underlying anxiety of my life.”

Thursday, January 01, 2009

rottnest romance #27

Happy New Year! Two years ago we enjoyed a NY on Rotto: it was sublime. As a 2009 treat, enjoy the next 500 words of the only Bills and Moon novel set on the beautiful island, Rottnest Romance. Larissa's bike is buggered, but beastly businessman Nick is browbeating her to do...what? Free Minties for all who make it through to the end of this (third)chapter of what is turning out to be a fiction that rivals Cloudstreet, Upsurge and To The Islands.


“I’ll tow you back. I’ll just fetch my bike.”

She was dumbstruck. Tow her – all the way back? It was out of the question.

“Really, Nick, that’s not necessary. I’d rather wait…”

But he wasn’t listening. He was looking around, and then strode over to the edge of the road and picked something up. It was a longish piece of rope.

Aghast, she took in his busy activity, as he tied one end of the rope to her handlebars. When he began to fix the other end to hi seat she realised he was serious. She began to protest again.

“Look, Nick, you can’t tow me all the way back.”

“Why not?” he asked as he tested the rope.

“Well…it’s too far. And I’m too heavy.”

He flicked a quick glance up and down her body. “I wouldn’t agree with that,” he remarked with a twinkle in his eye.

“It’s ridiculous…it’s too much to ask.”

“No-one’s asking anyone: I’m just doing it.” He straightened up, ready to get on his bike. “I only have to pull you up the hills. Don’t you think I’m capable of doing it?”

She glared at him. “That’s not the point – it’s not as if it’s some sort of endurance test…”

“Oh, do stop gabbling , Larissa. Now remember: if I brake, that means you brake as well. I don’t want you cannoning into me. On you get.”

Stung by his curt instructions, she got on her bike. He began pedaling, the rope between them tensed and with a start she was in motion.

Their rather unusual mode of departure aroused some merriment, she noted rather sourly. Ducking her head, she decided not to return the stares and pointing of several amused onlookers making their way up from the beach.

After a few moments they were thankfully out of sight. As they coasted down the first hill she called out at his broad back. “What were you going to use if you hadn’t found the rope?”

“Our belts,” he shouted back without turning around.

How resourceful, she reflected.

It was a rather peculiar sensation, being in motion on a bike without having to use any effort to propel it. Rather agreeable, actually, she realised. She supposed she should just sit back and enjoy the passing view.

They came to the first incline. As they started to go uphill he began to pedal energetically. He stood up as his legs moved up and down, driving more energy into his wheels. She suddenly lost interest in the gully of wildflowers on her left, and instead looked at his muscular legs as they pumped the pedals. Watching them, she couldn’t actually decide if they were muscular. No: they were both lean and muscular. She could certainly see some muscles – they flashed into prominence as his legs bent and straightened, bent and straightened…

Her gaze moved upward, to his faded, weather-beaten blue shorts. They weren’t moving as much – they just seemed to be sort of moving from side to side, ever so slightly. His rear seemed to be as lean and well-shaped as his legs…