doctor doctor give me the news

This time last year Rotto Bloggo was churlish, superior, loutish and snippy - in summary, self-indulgent to extremes - when we ridiculed some media release writing about a race that starts from Rottnest.

It was so much fun, in fact, let's do it again: The Doctor is six days away, and organisers are hoping their PR efforts will be sucked into the maw of the hungry beast that is Teh Media.

'When Wembley Downs adventure racer John Toomey lines up for the ‘The Doctor’, the richest ocean paddling race in Australia on January 16, he will look across the starting line and see not only the best surf ski paddlers in the world but also an Olympic champion.'

It always dangerous predicting things, but OK. The misplaced comma is only mildly distracting.

'With more than $30,000 on offer ‘The Doctor’, as the 24 kilometre marathon downwind paddle from Rottnest Island to the Scarborough Beach Auditorium is known, has attracted a who’s who of the ocean paddling elite as well as a host of top kayakers led by Beijing gold medallist Kenny Wallace.'

How much more? $100 million? $30,266? Who's who - that's like the Bible of lists of famous people. We're not sure if the collective noun for kayakers is host.

'Australia’s elite will shape up against a raft of international stars including leading South Africans Hank McGregor and brothers Dawid (third in 2009) and Jasper Mocke as well as paddlers from New Zealand, USA, Hong Kong and Europe.'

Mother of God: they were shaping up last year, too. Will the stars raft up, Medusa style, after the event?

'Toomey has paddled a surf ski intermittently for more than 20 years since learning the craft when he was a member of Floreat surf club but the 36-year-old has spent the best part of two decades competing at an elite level in triathlon, orienteering and now adventure racing.'

Hmm. We often bicker with colleagues about journalism being either a trade or a professions. We rarely reach a conclusion. We can't even bring ourselves to enter the decade debate on a Sunday afternoon.

'Three straight victories in the Teva series and a top placing in the Alps to Ocean race in Victoria shown great adventure racing success but a foot surgery in November forced Toomey off his feet and into the surf again.'

A foot surgery forced him off his feet! Far out! He fiddled, fearfully, with his fresh farnarkling gear...

See http://www.oceanpaddler.com/ for the deets...