rottnest honey

Lots of good things come from Rotto - like honey.

One of Rotto Bloggo's bright young journalism students at Curtin wrote a lovely story on Rottnest honey. As we speak the story is being perused in that journal of record, the Western Independent. Thank god there are no feral bees on the beautiful island. I'd pay a small fortune for that.
--
At $60 a kilo Bees Neez Apiaries is producing Western Australia’s most expensive honey.

David and Leilani Leyland, owners of Bees Neez Apiaries, first began production of the rare Rottnest Island Honey late last year.

Only 80 250gm jars of Rottnest Island Honey were produced.

The honey is sold only at Bees Neez Apiaries, located in Beechina, as well at Rottnest Island’s General Store.

The Apis mellifera ligustica, an Italian bee, is taken to Rottnest Island once a year and left to produce a honey free of any contamination.

According to David Leyland, who is also the head of the Bee Keeper Department at the Western Australian Farmers Federation, the honey is perceived to be something special.

“Because there are no feral bees on Rottnest, we can get the sort of matings that we desire, the right characteristics.

“By taking the bees over to Rottnest, we are ensuring that we are producing a pure type of honey free from contamination,” he said.

“This Rottnest Island Honey in reality is not your typical Australian honey as the bees feed off a weed type of plant, giving the honey its sweet yet bitter taste.”

The process of deriving honey from its hive is normally done using machinery, but Rottnest Island Honey is manually hand spun twice after it is extracted from the hives.

This is known as the two-frame extractor process that Mr Leyland says aids in producing its “delicate” flavour.

Rottnest Island Honey may see an increase in production in the future but Mr Leyland says that all depends on how popular the honey is.

“This year we are going to work with seven other bee keeper businesses to produce more of the Rottnest Island Honey.

“If we can buy the honey off them we can produce a bit more but I’m not sure we will go that way yet, it all depends on the demand."

It takes 125 bees one week to produce a single 250gm jar of Rottnest Island Honey.

The average bee produces two teaspoons of honey in its six to eight week lifespan.

The Western Australia Agriculture Department began the process of taking bees from the mainland around 30 years ago.

Daughter Queen bees from the best were mated and assigned to drones at Rottnest Island to ensure quality production of WA honey.

Mr Leyland describes the reason for breeding bees on Rottnest Island.

“In 1978, Western Australia’s borders were closed for any bee imports or bee products.

“To make sure that we continued having good quality bees, they (the Agriculture Department) had to start breeding their own (bees).

“Obviously the Ag Department over at Rottnest Island started breeding bees for the industry and that industry took over.”

Border closure resulted in WA becoming the only state free of European Foulbrood, a disease threatening to wipe out bees worldwide.

WA is also the only state that does not use any pesticides to extract bees from their hives.

Today, 40 per cent of Western Australia’s honey is exported.

rottnest romance #23

More heart-pounding excitement on the beautiful island as we delve deeper into chapter 3 of the only Bills & Moon novel set on Rottnest. Larissa nibbles on Nick's nuts, and he says she's smart. Love is blossoming faster than Mrs Rotto Bloggo can devour a jam doughnut from the bakery. We're taking bets they'll be licking the tartare sauce of each other's extremeties within a thousand words. Read on...

"I'm afraid not," she said, smiling. So he had remembered she was a vegetarian. For some reason it made her feel pleased.

He offered her a small container. "How about some Waldorf salad?"

"Alright then - thanks. But only if you have some fruit."

"Done," he said with a grin.

They ate together. She reflected that out of his suit and with his mind for the moment not focused on his business he could actually be reasonably pleasant.

"It's a beautiful location here," he said, looking back up at the rocks.

"Yes, it's one of the island's more attractive spots," she agreed.

He slid a sideways look at her. "Perfect for a luxury revolving restaurant and leisure centre, in fact..."

Despite herself she laughed. "Don't you ever leave your work at home/" she asked good-naturedly.

"I was only kidding," he assured her with a grin.

"I know, I know," she said, holding up her hands.

"Actually you're right - I should learn to switch off more, and take time to relax," he admitted.

She took a sip of water, and asked, "Where's Ashleigh?"

He snorted. "Getting on a bike and riding to the other end of an island isn't her idea of a good time. I dare say she's still at the hotel, taking full advantage of room service."

They were silent again. She remembered last night's meeting, and her stalking out after they had argued. Perhaps she should make some sort of apology. But, she thought, he had raised the subject - maybe he should have a word or two of regret to say as well.

"Anyway," he began slowly, "about last night..."

"Yes?" she prompted.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot at dinner."

She thought it had happened when they first met, but she let it go.

He continued, “Perhaps a few of the things I said last night were somewhat uncalled for. If so, then please accept my apologies.”

She sensed he was unused to apologizing, and felt glad he had made the effort. She responded, “I should say the same thing. But…”

“Yes?” he said, turning to look at her intently.

“…I’m not going to take back the meaning of what I said about your plans for Parakeet Bay.”

“I wouldn’t expect you to.”

“Really? Aren’t you going to try and convince me that there’s no alternative to your plan?”

“Can you be convinced?”

“No.”

“So I’m not going to. You’re an intelligent woman, Larissa, and you’ve obviously given a great deal of thought to what you believe in. I’m not going to try and talk you around to my way of thinking.”

She averted her gaze to her empty lunchbox. She hadn’t expected any compliments. What did he mean by saying them? They had made her feel…what? A Little light-headed, actually.

mise-en-Cedric

There was a shriek of anguish last week from the Rotto Bloggo compound when we missed out on an eBay sale of Isle of Girls.

The wonderful Eleanor Smith tome was up for grabs with a starting price of less than $10. We put in a parsimonious bid: just before the auction ended there was a higher bid; we bid again but were pipped at the post by a measly cent. It sold for a meagre $11 - surely we could've bid a dollar or two more.

Such is life. We’re aiming for better luck with an intriguing new item on the online auction giant: a Cedric Emanuel sketch of a heartwarming Rottnest scene.
Cedric was once “Australia's best known pen and pencil sketcher”. He’s in the Art Gallery of NSW and was prolific. The item up for grabs is pencil on paper from the 1970s:

“…serene Little Parakeet Bay, located on Rottnest Island, which is off the West Australian coast near Fremantle. This is a magnificent example of Emanuel's work, and is testament to his unrivalled prowess with the pencil: note the delicate shading of the clouds in the sky (the photos below do not do it justice); the subtle reflections of light across the gentle incoming waves; the detailed stony outcrops that frame the central scene of the tranquil beach.”

When Rotto Bloggo espied it the bidding was at one cent. We went wild and have whacked in a bid of five bucks. The seller cautions us: “An image of this calibre, if offered in a commercial gallery, is likely to attract an asking price of around $1,000-1,200. This represents an excellent opportunity to enter the Australian investment art market at a more affordable level.”

There’s another Cedric on eBay, too, which has 10 bids so far, highest $103: “Emanuel has depicted two charming historic buildings on Rottnest Island, located off the coast of Western Australia near Fremantle. At the upper left portion of the sketch, we see the Rottnest Island Chapel, built in 1858; lower right, the artist has illustrated another quaint stone building. Evident in this artwork is Emanuel's unrivalled skill in illustrating light and shadows cast across buildings.”

Unrivalled even by Caravaggio? That’s a big call. Mind you Caravaggio didn’t do anything on Rotto.

rottnest romance #22

The latest instalment in the thrilling Rottnest Romance, the only Bills & Moon novel to be set on the beautiful island. In these 500 words, the lunch at the West End continues. Larissa is picking at her rabbit food, while evil nasty immoral developer Nick is no doubt gnawing on the femur of a protestor crushed by one of his bulldozers. What will happen next? Our advice: keep reading. Nick's nuts get a mention pretty soon...
--

Getting up with some reluctance, she went over to him.

“My napkin, I believe,” she said curtly.

“What? Yes, I suppose so,” he said with an air of unconvincing surprise. As she went back to her lunch she felt like laughing at his display of pretense. Of course he had seen her napkin.

She started eating her yogurt. As she ate she looked at the seagulls, over the ocean, wheeling above the waves. After her meal she might go and have a look at the osprey colony in the rocks…

Out of the corner of her eye she saw Nick suddenly get up and walk in her direction. She looked out at the horizon, resolutely ignoring his approach.

“Excuse me.”

She turned her head to him. “Yes?”

“Do you have any salt and pepper, by any chance?”

“Sal and pepper? Er, no, I don’t. Sorry,” she added.

He nodded and trudged back to his spot. She felt a moment of regret she hadn’t bought any seasoning with her, followed by an inward frown. So what if he had been caught short – it wasn’t her problem.

She took the top off her water bottle and poured the last of her water into the top, which served as a cup. Taking a piece of carrot from her salad, she popped it in her mouth and reached for the water. In her distraction she knocked it over. The water trickled out onto the sand, and disappeared as it sank through the grains.

Biting back a curse, she quickly looked across to see if he had noticed her clumsiness.

He was looking at her, a blank expression on his face. She felt unbearably silly – she would bet he was now going to come out with a smart remark about what had happened.

He called out, “Do you want any more water?”

She shook her head, warily returning his look. “No.”

“I’ve still got quite a bit – certainly enough for two.” He picked up a large bottle of mineral water that was still nearly full. Perversely, now that all of her water was gone, she felt quite thirsty.

“That’s generous of you,” she replied hesitantly. “I’d appreciate some.”

“It’s no big deal. But there is one condition.”

She tensed. “Yes?”

“That we sit together sociably, instead of trying to conduct our conversation by yelling from one end of the beach to the other.”

In spite of herself she started to smile. He had a point – there didn’t seem to be much purpose in ignoring each other.

“Shall we meet in the middle?”

She nodded. “OK.”

They gathered up their lunches and moved to the centre of the beach. In silence they sat down again. He took her bottle cap and filled it up with some of his mineral water.

Presently he spoke. “That looks like a healthy lunch.”

“Yes, I suppose it is. Not very exciting, though. What have you got?”

“Smoked salmon sandwiches, along with a salad. I’d offer you a sandwich or a piece of lettuce or walnut, but I suppose you couldn’t accept anything.”

Rotto gold in Beijing

Yikes: did you see this story on a Paralympian in some Fairfax papers on t'otherside?

Brad Ness is the captain of the Australian wheelchair basketball team. 15 years ago he was a teenage deckhand on a ferry travelling between Rottnest and Perth.

He was standing on a wharf with a rope near his foot. A ferry departed at speed, and the rope zipped through his lower leg.

"We were preparing to leave the pier when the skipper thought he heard me calling 'All clear', but the rope I had was still attached to the quayside," the 33-year-old said. "When the ferry moved out, the rope tightened and sliced off my right foot as neatly as a chef chopping through a carrot."

One leg amputation and some time later and Ness won gold: "led brilliantly by captain Brad Ness", we thrashed Canada in the final.

We have unanswered questions about Brad's accident, though. Which ferry company? On Rotto or the mainland? What happened to the foot? Did the ferry keep on going?

But the overall message is clear: Rottnest is a place for winners.

to the lighthouse

It's a must-read about Rotto.

Earlier this month we reported Denise Kirby's Body on the Rocks had won the Extensive Reading Foundation's Language Learner Literature Award for Adolescent and Adults, in the Advanced category.

Rotto Bloggo was rushed a review copy - and we can say it's gold.

All the beaches are described as beautiful (but the Basin is the most inviting); there's lots of info about lighthouses, people play Scrabble, there are bike trips out to the West End, there's bakery action - it's a tremendous book.

There are mentions of some of the great Rottnest names: Parker, Angwin, Timperley, Scanlon...

Scanlon? You'll have to read Body on the Rocks to find out more. There are also pics, a glossary, and a quiz at the end.

We're putting it on our Top Ten list of great Rotto reads. It's published in Germany by Hueber for English learners: Body on the Rocks is for a basic vocabulary of around 2000 words.

rottnest romance #21

We're out at the West End and there's gunna be a showdown between Nick and Larissa. Will Nick be exposed by our brave young heroine as a smuggler of high-grade herring and octopus? Or will she whip out her own quokka-shaped bong, inviting him to fill her pipe with the good stuff? Afterwards, will they roll around together in the foamy surf? It's getting exciting in Rottnest Romance...

There were a number of people already there, eating at the picnic buildings and ambling over the walkways. Some were at the edge of the cliffs, gazing out at the dramatic views of the turbulent ocean. She couldn’t see Nick.

Hopefully he had decided to go off and explore the area, she thought optimistically. Shouldering her bag, she admired the view for a moment, and then began to carefully pick her way down to one of the beaches.

Even if Nick was prowling around, there was little risk of him stumbling across where she was going to eat her lunch. She knew a very secluded spot where she had eaten a couple of time before – she liked to think of it as her very own private spot.

Once she had reached the soft yellow sand she took off her sandals and strolled along, enjoying the feeling of the sand between her toes. Her retreat was along the right hand side of the beach. The rock there formed a natural windbreak – she had eaten there while watching the surf break and race up to the shore. Larissa reached the rock, and…

There he was again, stretched out on his side, poking in a lunchbox. He looked up and saw her standing there.

“Hello again. Changed your mind about that lift?”

Her mouth set in determination. “You’re occupying my spot.”

He looked nonplussed. “What do you mean, your spot?”

“I always have lunch in this very spot when I come out here.”

“Is that so? I don’t see any sign telling me that this particular piece of beach is reserved for the use of one person only,” he stated, looking idly around.

It was obvious he wasn’t going to move. She glumly thought she should go and eat somewhere else. But then, seeing him casually laid out, she felt a sudden stab of annoyance. No – why should she be forced to go somewhere else? It was a free country, and she wasn’t going to let his unexpected presence put her off.

She turned on her heels, and strode to a point 20 or so metres away from him. She sat down and looked in her bag. A delicious lunch was in there, and she was going to enjoy it. Never mind about the interloper a bit further down. She could feel him looking at her – it didn’t bother her.

In her lunchbox was a container of yogurt, a salad and some fresh fruit. She took out her fork, spoon and napkin. As she placed them in front of her a breath of wind took the napkin and blew it up in the air. It sailed across to where Nick was, and landed just in front of him.

She froze. What would he think was going on? She could have kicked herself – why hadn’t she tucked the napkin under her lunchbox?

He wasn’t making any move to return it to her, of course. She didn’t relish the idea of using her shirt to wipe her mouth and fingers after she had eaten…she sighed, realizing she would have to retrieve it herself.

rocking the truck on Rotto

Prostitutes, Homer Simpson, Cat Stevens, Michael Kirby and Rottnest Island.

They all get a mention in this profile in The Australian of new Chief Justice Robert French.

Good to see a WA bloke get to the top of the legal industry - even better that he's spent quality time on the beautiful island.

The story tells of his failed attempt to knock off Kim Beazley Sr in the Federal seat of Fremantle in 1969 (French was president of the Liberal Society at UWA at the time)...

French describes that time as "a lot of fun". He even took a band, Time Peace, on the hustings to support his campaign slogan - pop politics in the swinging seat.

"The high point of the campaign in 69 was when we went over to Rottnest Island," he says.

"We were on the back of a truck outside the Rottnest pub, the band was playing and there was a crowd of about 500. While the band was playing the crowd was rapt.

"They would stop and I would stand up and give a short burst and the crowd would move forward and start rocking the truck.

"We got the band to start playing again."

He never fell victim to a rotten tomato but remembers that "a dog in Willagee bit my trousers. I think it was an ALP dog".

Are the ALP dogs biting today?

rottnest romance #20

More from the third chapter of the only Bills and Moon romance to be set on the beautiful island paradise that is Rottnest, WA. Larissa has huffed and puffed out to the other end of Rotto - and is nearly at the West End when her bike goes bung. Bugger: will she be eaten by feral quokkas? Or will a knight in shining armour come to her rescue, as often happens in works of this genre? Will she get back to Thomson Bay in time to vote tomorrow at Rottnest Primary?

Nick Montagu stopped by her side. He was dressed in faded blue shorts, a T-shirt and deck shoes. Surveying her for a moment, he said, “Hello again. Can I help?”

What incredible bad luck, she thought. It was almost funny.

Larissa swallowed hard. “I just had a slight problem with my bike, and I was wondering if someone could help. I didn’t realise it was you.”

He gave a ghost of a smile. “You mean if you had known it was me you wouldn’t have waved for help?”

“No, that’s not what I meant…”

He got off his bike and put it to one side. “What’s this problem, anyway? Your pedals, by the look of it.”

“You don’t have to bother – I know what’s wrong…” But he was kneeling by her bike, inspecting the damage.

“Your cotter pin is broken,” he announced after a moment.

She sighed. “You don’t say. I know what’s wrong.”

She gave his bike a quick glance. “I was hoping whoever was riding towards me might have a repair kit – but apparently you don’t.”

“Nope. You’ll need a bit more than a tyre patch to fix this, though.”

“I know how to replace a cotter pin, thank you. I need a small spanner and a wedge of metal to act as a temporary pin. I’ve got all that stuff in my repair kit.”

“Where is your repair kit?”

She hesitated. “Well, it’s at home,” she admitted, feeling foolish.

He gave her a look from his kneeling position. “Not much good there, is it?”

She didn’t trust herself to reply. Why didn’t he just go away?

“Are you going out to this Cape – Vlamingh, is it? – further on?” he asked, straightening up again.

“Yes,” she said, and them immediately regretted saying so. It wasn’t any of his business.

“So am I. Would you like a lift?”

She looked at him, incredulous. Surely he couldn’t be serious! She wasn’t going to accept any help from him.

“No, thank you,” she replied frostily. “I’m quite capable of walking.”

He must have detected the chilly note in her voice. “Fine,” he said abruptly. He got on his bike again, and pedaled away from her without so much as a backward glance.

She looked balefully at his back as he rode up the final crest. She could see the muscles in his legs working as he smoothly tackled the hill. His arms, too, showed some muscle as he gripped the handlebars…

With an impatient shake of her head she grasped her bike and began trudging towards the Cape.

Nick had better not pester her while she was there, she thought ferociously. If he followed her around she would tell him in no uncertain terms to remove himself.

After ten minutes of brisk walking she reached the Cape. The road stopped at a couple of picnic buildings, and a wooden walkway led out further to the edge of the cliff. Down below were sandy, inviting stretches of beach. Larissa knew from her past visits that, although the Cape seemed quite small in size, there were numerous nooks and crannies that you could explore for the whole day.

Rotto book wins award

Get ready for an influx of German backpackers to the beautiful island paradise.

They'll be paying homage to the award-winning novel, Body on the Rocks, written by former West Aussie Denise Kirby (and blogged about earlier this year here).

Rotto Bloggo can reveal the book has just won the Extensive Reading Foundation's Language Learner Literature Award for Adolescent and Adults, in the Advanced category.

The ERF is a not-for-profit organization that supports and promotes extensive reading in language education: stories designed for English language learners, with graded vocabulary and grammar.

Denise (a Perth actor for some years before moving to Sydney) writes fiction for young people. Body on the Rocks was published by International Language Teaching Services, who have a series of graded fiction readers licensed to publishers around the world, including Hueber Verlag in Germany.

"Denise is thrilled that the award might help bring Rotto to an even wider international audience," ILTS told Rotto Bloggo.

Wunderbar for Rottnest! If you see holidaymakers from Hamburg pigging out on cream buns by the bakery, thank Denise Kirby.

More details on the ERF awards here: http://erfoundation.org/awards08.

rottnest romance #19

Time for another thrilling episode in the only Bills and Moon romance set on the beautiful island. You'll recall our blonde heroine, Larissa Kidd, was setting off on a bike ride to the West End. No Troy Buswell jokes about bicycle seats or anything else, please. She's got her lunch and a water bottle with her. Who knows - perhaps there'll be some nude sunbathing very soon. In a week she'll be voting in the 2008 WA state election. Are the Greens green enough for our feisty young conservationist? Read on...

It was still completely trustworthy, though, Larissa assured herself. She jumped on, and slowly threaded her way around the numerous pedestrians as she cycled through the winding historic Thomson Bay area. After a few minutes she reached the open road which stretched out between the large salt lakes. She began to pedal energetically, and was soon making good progress.

Gradually the island lighthouse, a brilliant white in the sunlight, slipped by on her right-hand side. At times she free-wheeled down hills, but also had to stand on the pedals to force her way up steep inclines. She had promised herself she wouldn’t get off the bike and walk up the hard stretches.


As Larissa sped through narrow Neck – so named because only a thin strip of land separated the waters on either side – she could hear the surf rolling onto the beaches.

Breathing deeply from her efforts, she resolved to finish it in one final big push. All went well until she had just passed the turnoff for Radar Reef. The, when she had less than a kilometre to go, disaster struck. Something went wrong with the pedals and the bike swerved dangerously. She braked, and managed to come to a halt without crashing.

What was going on? Kneeling down to inspect the pedals, she saw at once what was wrong, and let out a groan.

The cotter pin in the left pedal had snapped. She couldn’t believe it. Of all the times it had to happen, it happened way out here. Murphy’s Law strikes again, she thought sourly.

And of course it was typical her bike repair kit wasn’t strapped on to the back of her bike. She prided herself on being mechanically competent, and if she had bought her tool kit with her she might have been able to do some sort of repair job until she returned to Thomson Bay.

Look on the bright side, she told herself, as she surveyed the final hill that led to the cape. At least she hadn’t been travelling at speed when the pin broke. There might have been a nasty tumble if she had. And it wasn’t too far a walk, anyway.

Before she began to trudge up the hill she had a look around. There was no-one else to be seen: she might as well get going…

Then, in the distance, she saw a lone cyclist appear away on the track that led back from Radar Reef. Was he or she coming this way, or heading back in the other direction? There was a chance the cyclist might have a tool kit with them.

She hopped up and down on the spot, yelling out “Hello! Hello! Over here!” as loud as she could, while waving her arms about. It worked: the cyclist turned left, and rode in her direction.

Pleased, she watched the4 cyclist – it seemed to be a man – come towards her. With any luck she could…

Her positive attitude swiftly evaporated as the cyclist neared her, and she recognised who it was.

shark lark

Why hasn’t Rotto Bloggo received the hoax email called Rottnest, Western Australia?

"While the ocean vessel 'Pirate' was commercial fishing for dhufish, this Great White Shark was hooked in the mouth,” it starts.

"It only resisted slightly for 5 minutes before it came up alongside the boat to have a look; just long enough for one of the crew members to slip a rope around it's tail!

"And that's when the fun began. The shark took off towing the 35-foot fishing boat backwards through the water at an estimated 7 knots.

"Just like in JAWS, the boat was taking on water over the stern and the crew watched in horror as the shark would actually jump completely out of the water at times.

"This went on for an hour before the shark finally drowned. She weighed in at 1035 pounds It is suspected she followed a weak El Nino current into local Perth waters in search of food. Although mid 20 degree water is considered ideal for these sharks, the larger ones can tolerate water in the low 10s.''

A huge shark towing defenceless little boats over the Perth Canyon! Diners at Cicerello’s stunned when they see a huge fin surging in the harbour!

Alas, not true.

Hoax-Slayer also has this example in an email:

Subject: FW: Fancy a swim
Wow! So much for swimming at Rottnest on the north side of
Gage Road ... just southwest of Cottesloe.

Ha ha! Gage Road! Does that second foggy pic look like the cerulean blue of the water between Rotto and Cotto?

Nothing about this on Snopes yet…we’ll keep checking.

tardy

A shocking 13 days without posting. Cheers for the various prompts and nags. Of course Rotto Bloggo has no excuses. We deserve to be sent to Tentland without anything from the bakery.

On a brighter note, it's exactly 50 days until we're next scheduled to be on the beautiful island. It'll be blokes only: sharing the choice waterfront four-bed Geordie Bay joint will be a detective, a lawyer and two journalists. There won't be a lot of Oprah on the teev.

The numberplate? It's a puzzle. Something to do with the listings magazine?

vote 1 for Rottnest

Only 27 days to go until Election 08. At election time Rotto Bloggo’s thoughts turn to the beautiful island. We’ve never voted there, but we would love to. Perhaps this will be the year.

Our fantasy 6 September on Rottnest would be getting the first ferry and sitting next to Antony Green and members of the meedja, hearing political scandal over a Dome latte, going to vote at the primary school and then watching the ABC evening coverage over a glass or three with the waves lapping in the background.

How about this lame summary? “The Fremantle electorate contains the suburbs of Beaconsfield, East Fremantle, Fremantle, Rottnest, South Fremantle and White Gum Valley.” How dare Rottnest be described as a suburb. The map on that page is also crap as it doesn’t show Rotto.

To the numbers. Fremantle is very safe Labor and held by Jim McGinty (he who is reluctant to provide shield laws for journalists). But in the 2005 voting bunfight the island was more blue than red…here’s the breakdown of the 127 lucky people who voted on Rotto on 26 February 2005:

Liberal 50
ALP 48
Green 13
There were five informal votes, four each for Family First and an independent, two for the CDP (who they?), one for another independent, and a big fat zero for One Nation. Ha ha ha!

rottnest romance #18

The next day. Larissa must have had a terrible bout of overnight indigestion after her verbal stoush with the evil amoral nasty ruthless developer Nick. No doubt she smouldered at home after the encounter, knocking back a bottle or two of Oomoo. What's going to happen next? Will she be throwing herself in front of the bulldozers? Wll Nick sabotage her ferry? Will they exchange poisoned vanilla slices at the bakery? read on...

Chapter Three

With a loud clatter the gangway was thrown onto the jetty. A crew member jumped nimbly off the boat, and tied it securely into position. The captain stepped back, and passengers began filing off the ferry.

Larissa went up to her. “Morning, Caroline. It looks as though you had a capacity load again this morning.”

Her employee turned to face her. “Hello, Larissa. Yes, we were full. We also brought some freight across as well, which should put us well into the black for today.”

“Good news, Any problems – anything I should know about?”

“No, but there is something for you, though, It’s on the bridge – I’ll get it.”

“No, it’s alright, I’ll fetch it. You better make a start on unloading all those bikes – there must be dozens of them.”

Caroline gave a rueful smile. “Quite a few, aren’t there! Well, it’s good exercise for the crew.”

“Right,” Larissa agreed with a grin. She eased her way along the gangway and went upstairs to the bridge. As she entered she saw a huge bunch of flowers – yellow carnations. Picking them up, she noticed a note was attached. It read: Larissa – sorry I upset you. All forgiven now? Marjorie.

She smelled the flowers – they were lovely. If her sister wanted to mend the relationship with her the she certainly knew the most effective way of doing so. Smiling to herself, Larissa thought perhaps she’d been a little too harsh with her older sibling. She would ring her later today and say so, and also thank her for the flowers.

She left the Daisy, and walked along the jetty. The passengers were streaming off, eager to explore the island and enjoy themselves. She stopped at the office and put the carnations in a vase, filling it with water. Her assistant Frances, working at her desk, caught sight of them as she placed them on the reception counter.

“What lovely flowers! Are they from someone tall, dark and handsome?”

Larissa chuckled. “I wish. No, they’re from Marjorie. I’ll leave them her to brighten up the place. See you later.”

She left the office and strolled back to her cottage. It was another beautiful summer day, and the sunlight streamed through the branches of the big Moreton bay fig trees that lined the road. With her morning’s walk complete, Larissa had decided to go on an excursion. With a packed lunch and dressed in a sleeveless polar fleece and khaki cargo pants over a bikini, she set out to cycle all the way out to the other end of Rottnest – to the West End. It was a longish trip – about 25 kilometres there and back – but she thought it was about time she had a decent spell of exercise.

After putting her lunch in a bag and filling a water bottle she wheeled out her bike from behind the cottage. She gave it an appraising look. She had had the same bike for years now. It was a ten-speed racer, which ran very well. It had once been a brightfire-engine red, but due to the extensive use it had seen, plus the odd bash and scrape, it was now a little dilapidated.

olympics and rotto

The Games at Smoggy Bottom are less than 24 hours away, yet we've been searching in vain for a strong link between the Olympics and the beautiful island.

Has Stephanie Rice partied at Pinkys? Did Daria Joura ever play on the monkey bars between Dome and the tea rooms? Has Cadel Evans ever zipped out on his bike to the West End (taking three minutes to do so)?

It seems not. The closest connection we could find was endurance swimmer Penny Palfrey (who did the Rottnest swim last year) being presented with a gong in Townsville by Olympic swimmer Elka Graham.

There are sharks in the water. Here's another story about a Gage Roads crosser: "Cameron Clyne has to kick hard against rough currents, fierce headwinds and sharks in the oceans where he swims."

The bloke is head honcho at National Australia Bank. "Clyne shrugs off the threat of sharks prowling in the waters off Perth in Western Australia, where he competes in the annual Rottnest channel race. 'You don't have to be the fastest swimmer. You just have to be faster than the slowest swimmer,' he told reporters."

rottnest romance #17

Two chapters down, eight to go. Phew. When will Larissa and Nick have sex? Chapter 3? Later? It seems a long way off - but then again, you can never tell with these crazy young things. They need to chill out and be civil over a nice round of mini golf at the Brett Heady Family Fun Centre. Or they need to wet a line. Hard to be as cross as a frog in a sock when you're fishing. Stay tuned for the opening salvo later this week of Chapter 3 in Rottnest Romance, the only Bills and Moon romance novel set on the beautiful island paradise that is Rotto.

“I’ll grant there are similarities between us, but not as many as you fondly imagine.”

He looked amused at that. “I’m not fondly imagining anything.”

“We’re both businesspeople, yes, but we differ a great deal in how we do our business.”

“Right. I pillage the environment without a care, whereas you wouldn’t harm a blade of grass.”

Leave, Larissa thought. Leave now, before you say something you’ll really regret.

She threw her napkin on the table. “I’m not going to be patronized or insulted any longer,” she informed them in the most civil tone she could manage.

He looked momentarily surprised, but then fixed her with a narrow-eyed look. “Storming out in a huff because you’re losing the argument? I thought you might be made of stronger stuff than that.”

Several answers came to her. After a moment she chose what she thought was the most dignified response.

“I’m quite prepared to debate our differences, but as I said I’m not going to sit here and be insulted. I’ll leave you two to enjoy your meal,” She rose from her chair.

He leant back in his and spoke in a gentler, quieter voice. “Come on Larissa – surely it isn’t worth storming out at the cost of not finishing your meal. Please, sit down again.”

“And have myself subjected to more abuse?”

“No, not at all,” he said with a smile. “No-one’s abusing anyone.”

“We disagree there, along with everything else.’

He sighed, and shrugged again. “This is completely unnecessary.”

“I won’t bother you any more. Have a pleasant time on Rottnest, as I’m sure I won’t be seeing you again. And do enjoy your meal,” she added, with a harsh edge to her voice.

She turned away, and made her way through the tables. From the corner of her eye she saw that a few curious looks were directed at her.

As she passed the group of people still waiting for a table she felt a hand pluck at her sleeve.

She turned to see who it was. It was Mrs Squire – again. Was the pesky woman following her, for heaven’s sake?

“What was going on there, Larissa?” she enquired eagerly. “Were you having an argument with that nice man of yours?”

It was too much for her. She gave the gossipy woman a laser-like stare, and hissed, “Oh, go away! It’s none of your business!” And with that she strode out of the restaurant without looking back.

619km to rotto

The beautiful island has been mentioned in the Queensland Coroner's Court.

"Jenny Batten, wife of Des, 69, said her husband was a careful and experienced yachtsman who regularly skippered motorboats to Rottnest, was a member of Fremantle Sea Rescue and the holder of a recreational skipper’s ticket and marine radio qualification," said this report in The West.

Des Batten was aboard the Kaz II, which was found floating sans its three crew in April last year.

Better news for seniors here: a free trip to Rotto!

'SENIORS card holders in the Goldfields region have the chance to take a break on Rottnest Island in the August Seniors Card website competition,' according to the Golden Mail.

'The prize is courtesy of ferry operator Rottnest Express and is valid for two adults to travel on same day return transfers.

'The winner will also receive free bike hire allowing them to explore the island at their leisure during the day.

Entering the competition to win two return tickets to Rottnest Island and free bike hire can be done in one of two ways...see here for the GM story.

rottnest romance #16

Second-last instalment of Chapter 2. Surely the sharp implements are about to come out as the heated argument between Larissa and Nick gets ugly. I'll give her $20 if she upturns the table on him and glasses him.
--
"Let's try and discuss this in a civil manner," she suggested.

"That's fine by me," he shrugged.

"Can I ask what steps you've taken to ensure your development has as little impact as possible on the environment of Parakeet Bay?"

He inspected his glass as he twirled it in his fingers. Eventually he replied: "Of course, the tender called for considerations to be given to the environment of the area."

"Which sounds like you've only given lip service to the matter."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Since you're such an expert on the area, what should I be concerned about when I proceed with the development?"

She wondered if he was sincerely interested. Against her better instincts she decided to give him an answer.

"Parakeet Bay is a particularly sensitive area in regard to sand dune erosion. In fact most of Rottnest is. More people in the Bay might lead to that problem becoming irreperable."

He looked pleased at hearing that. "You'll be delighted to hear the sand dunes will be fenced off."

“What do you mean?” she asked, puzzled.

“My cottages will be behind the dunes, and paths will lead down to the beach – the dunes will be protected by fencing.”

She shook her head. “It’s not good enough. The very fact you’re building something there will lead to erosion. Even if the dunes get that protection.”

“Oh for heaven’s sake,” he spluttered, finally moved to sudden anger by her observation. “It’s going to be a residential area. I can’t help it if people are going to want to walk down to the beach.” His dark eyes glittered at her.

“You can’t help it, or you don’t care?”

“This is ridiculous,” he rumbled. “You slant things in such a way that suggest I’m a heartless destroyer only interested in making money from damaging the environment.”

“You said it, not me,” she shot back. “Why else would you be doing it, if not for the money?”

But at the same time, she wondered if what he had just said was true. Was she so obsessed with picking holes in his argument she wouldn’t give him a fair hearing? No – that wasn’t right. Even if there was an element of truth in that, then it also applied to him. He wasn’t interested in conducting a reasonable discussion. He was merely concerned with pushing on with his grand design – nothing else was as important.

“That’s what business is about, Larissa – discovering the needs or services people want, and then providing them while making a living from it. I’m surprised you’re not aware of this by now,” he added with a sneer.

“There’s no need to be condescending,” she retorted.

“Isn’t it true?” he pressed, determined to make his point. “Isn’t that what you do in your business with your sister?”

“Yes, but I wouldn’t…”

“So there you go…”

“The similarity on…”

“You’re just the same as me.”

“Will you let me finish!” It came out much louder than she expected, and again heads turned in her direction from nearby tables. She glowered at him, and struggled to keep her voice at a normal level.

hotel hiatus

The five-star hotel slated for Rottnest Island is well behind schedule.

Negotiations between the state government and developer Broadwater are continuing, despite the company being chosen as the builder 18 months ago.

The Rottnest Island Authority (RIA) has stopped spruiking the $50 million project on its website and signage.

It mentions refurbishment programs and the construction of the new Dome cafe, but details of the hotel have vanished.

Tourism Minister Sheila McHale said in January last year the hotel would be built within two years.

"The new facility will provide eagerly-awaited accommodation on Rottnest," she said at the time.

"The 120-room hotel will offer guests options such as short-stay and fully serviced rooms of an equivalent four-star rating."

The hotel will be built on four hectares of the derelict water catchment site at Mt Herschel, near Geordie and Longreach bays.

But the minister said she was disappointed with the wait.

"I have a certain level of frustration with the delays but this is about getting it right for Rottnest and future generations of holidaymakers," she said.

"At no time has the Rottnest Island Authority delayed the process. We look forward to the contract being signed."

Broadwater's Scott Cogar didn't return numerous calls.

Broadwater is the head of a six-firm consortium that will build the hotel.

The other companies involved are First Acuity Management Enterprises, WA Developments, Humfrey Land Developments, Jones Coulter Young Architects and Ningaloo Reef Retreat.

"I don't think they know a lot about it at the moment," someone at Humfrey Land Developments said when called.

WA Developments said only Broadwater could comment on the hotel.

First Acuity Management Enterprises, Jones Coulter Young and Ningaloo Reef Retreat didn't return calls.

RIA bugle Penni Fletcher-Hughes said the hotel could open in 2010, subject to government approvals.

"As far as we know, negotiations (with Broadwater) are continuing," she said.
"The company has four years to build the hotel from the date of signing with the government."

The authority recently spent $76,000 on a geotechnical survey for the hotel.

"The survey was an integral part of the undertaking to potential developers to ensure the site is development-ready," Ms Fletcher-Hughes said.

Golder Associates spent five days on Rottnest taking site samples and then took four weeks to test them in a laboratory.

The authority wouldn't release the survey.

"The report is part of the negotiations expected to result in a development/lease contract signing with the Broadwater consortium and is therefore currently commercial-in-confidence," Ms Fletcher-Hughes said.

Ms McHale said the survey wasn't the reason for the hold-up.

"The geotechnical survey was in fact done ahead of time at the request of the developers," she said.

rottnest romance #15

Another 500 word drip-feed from Chapter Two of Rottnest Romance, the only known Bills and Moon novel to be set on the beautiful island. Larissa is as cross as a frog in a sock about Nick's plans for Parakeet Bay. Will he brain her with the wedges bowl, or run her over with a bulldozer? We hope she does something dramatic at the end of the argument, like throwing wine in his face or kneeing him in the nuts. Go Larissa!
--
"Those are pretty strong accusations."

"Accusations that are probably quite accurate," she retorted.

Beside them Ashleigh had been swiveling her head back and forth from Larissa to Nick as each of them spoke. She was wide-eyes at this sudden antagonism between them. Larissa thought sourly that she would probably gang up with Nick after she had got over her initial surprise.

All of his easy good nature had evaporated by now. "You have a rather narrow view of the issue," Larissa."

"I don't think so. Despite your undoubted business acumen, I suspect you're the one with the narrow viewpoint."

He leant his arms on the table, and fixed her with a hard look. "Even though you haven't given any details to back up your accusations I think I can sum up your opinions as regards my project."

"Go on, then," she invited him defiantly.

"All you can see is a development being built where previously there was nothing. If you had your way nothing new would be built - anywhere."

"That's my point," she said fiercely. "There isn't just nothing there now.
Just because there aren't houses or shops or paved roads doesn't mean that it's utterly vacant."

He was starting to look skeptical. "Oh dear," he said, "I think we have a hard-line conservationist sitting with us."

She tried to keep a rein on her temper. "That's right - don't think about what I'm saying. Just slap a label on me."

"No, let's think about it then. When you're saying there isn't "nothing" in parakeet Bay you're referring to animals, I suppose?"

"Not only animals - a whole ecosystem exists there. Birds, animals, plants, marine life.a very complex system."

"And I'm going to destroy this elaborate ecosystem with my clumsy arrival, is that it?" He said it with a straight face, but she detected a hint of sarcasm.

"Go on, be sarcastic. You're not really interested in what's going to happen after you move in there."

"But you're certainly interested in telling me."

"No I'm not, because you're not interested in listening."

Beside them Ashleigh cleared her throat. The noise made them both turn and look at her.

"Excuse me, guys," she said, "but you're both getting kind of loud, and attracting quite a bit of attention."

Larissa glanced around and saw that she was right - quite a few heads had turned their way as a result of that last exchange, and they were getting some curious stares.

She took a deep breath, and willed herself to speak in a normal voice. The last thing she wanted was a public slanging match. If things got out of hand here it would be all over the island tomorrow.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you," she said evenly, "I get rather involved in discussions of this nature."

"So it would seem," Ashleigh remarked dryly.

"Nick said nothing. He twirled his wine glass between his fingers while looking at Larissa - sizing her up, it seemed.

rotto on the schmap

We had an offer we could refuse recently: an online publisher asked if she could use one of our Hawaii photos from last year.

We love our on-an-angle pic of the Marriott Maui Ocean Club, but we politely declined. Well, we clicked a button.

Schmap is “a powerful desktop application that gives you a world of additional trip planning convenience, including options to take virtual tours and custom-print full-colour guides…we’ve schmapped 200 destinations…add a schmap to your website or blog…show friends where you live…let hotel guests see your great location…help vacationers find your rental.”

Hmmmm. From Rotto Bloggo’s ignorant viewpoint, it’s not an app that’s going to shake the world. We know mashups are all the rage, and convergence is king, yadda yadda…but there’s no payment for photos being used.

We assume Schmap’s Emma J. Williams had to pay for doing a deal with a street directory, and has to pay for hardware and bandwidth. Why shoouldn’t she pay for using photos too?

We had a look at her Flickr account – see here. There are countless enthusiastic thank-yous from people who’ve had their photos chosen. It’s worth reading down to see the occasional rant from someone who resents being asked if their photo can be used gratis.

“…they prey on the egos of photographers that think somehow being "published" is valuable consideration for their work. If you give these guys (or anyone) free photos you are contributing to the demise of the photography business as a whole.”

You think? Is this sentiment right? Or is Rotto Bloggo behind the times and erring by not embracing the Creative Commons thing?

What is the Rottnest, connection, I hear my thousands of readers asking?

Schmap has a Perth map. It’s a work in progress, shall we say. There are a few photos of the beautiful island there. Alas in the Rotto chapter there’s one of a place called ‘freemantle’, too.

rottnest romance #14

In Barry Humphries' memoir there's a passage where he's having dinner with his parents at a nice Melbourne restuarant. Without warning, a female guest a few tables away jumps up and screams, "This spaghetti is shithouse". Barry describes it as his first glimpse of alcoholism. There's no sign of our heroine Larissa Kidd being a dipso - but her seething could soon see her go postal...
--

How could she, part of a small group with a deep concern for the environment of Rottnest, have any effect on what he planned to do? Was there any point in even trying? If she was thinking about a battle, then it was most likely over before it had begun. Her concerns and worries may as well not exist, for all the real importance they had.

Linda returned to the table, apologizing for not having taken their plates sooner. As he engaged her in conversation again Larissa reflected he was part of the real world. He was a businessman and he would complete his project in Parakeet Bay. That would create more jobs for people like Linda, as more and more tourists came to the island to take holidays in his cottages – it was the cycle of business, and it would never stop.

She felt a sudden spurt of anger. It may be unrealistic of her, but she was still worried about Nick’s development. There had to be some other way of doing things…there must be. She was damned if she was going to sit meekly by and passively watch things go ahead. And she definitely wasn’t going to assist him with his plans.

As Linda left she fixed him with a determined look.

“Nick, I have to tell you under no circumstances can I act as an advisor to you.”

He looked at her. “Well, as I said, you don’t have to decide immediately…”

“I have decided,” she said firmly. “I don’t want anything to do with your project.”

The expression on his face was still neutral. “Oh. Well, you seem to have made your decision, then. I suppose I must accept it.”

There was a pause, and he didn’t seem disposed to take the matter any further. After a moment she asked, with a trace of defiance, “Aren’t you curious as to why I’ve said no?”

This time his look had some wariness about it. “Alright then – why have you said no?”

“I don’t want anything to do with it because I think it’s wrong.”

“Wrong?” he echoed, mystified. “Why do you say that?”

Gaining courage, she continued. “Because all you want to do is make money from your precious development – you don’t care about anything else.”

“Of course I want to make money – that’s why…”

“Yes, that’s all you think about. Money, and making your fortune. Never mind what has to be sacrificed to make that happen.”

“Now, what just a minute – I think you…”

“Have you even begun to consider what impact your project is going to have on Parakeet Bay? Or what this island is going to lose because of your activity?”

He was frowning now. “If you’ll just let me answer, Larissa,” he started again, with irritation in his voice.

But she continued, carried away by the momentum of her anger. “You’re just going to breeze in here and finish your plans, and congratulate yourself on how clever you are. Then you’ll go away very pleased with yourself, too ignorant to see the damage you’ll do.”

rotto book list

Our Rotto book list is at an advanced stage. Not on here is 'Mental Floss Presents Condensed Knowledge: A Deliciously Irreverent Guide to Feeling Smart Again'. Thanks to Amazon Online Reader we see the book claims the first three keepers of the Wadjemup lighthouse all killed themselves.

"The lighthouse...is famous not only for being the first rotating beam lighhouse on that continent but also because its first three keepers all committed suicide!" Love that jaunty excalamtion mark. This was supposedly because of the pool of mercury that supported the lens. Could be true?

Alas, Rottnest Romance is not on here. We guess it's being published, gradually, but it hasn't been published in full so far. Another thrilling 500 words soon.

The Artist’s Rottnest by Ted Snell
Rottnest Island in History and Legend: Its discovery and development, natural beauties, fauna and flora by W Somerville
Rottnest Island: History and Architecture by R.J. Ferguson
Rottnest "Fair Isle." Praised in Prose and Picture by Arnold Hamer
Gone To Rottnest by Trea Wiltshire
Rottnest Island Sketchbook by Kirwan Ward and Paul Rigby
The biology of the mountain duck on Rottnest Island, Western Australia by T. Riggert
The Fishes of Rottnest Island by Barry Hutchins
Fremantle and Rottnest: Buildings Classified & Recorded by the National Trust by Marie Cownie
The Rottnest Bike Business by Susan Burke
Man, Marsupials and Muscle: Investigation of Muscular Paralysis Occurring in the Rottnest Island Quokka by Byron A. Kakulas
Isle of Girls by Eleanor Smith
Rottnest Island: A Documentary History by Prue Joske et al
Nuteeriat Nut trees, the expanding earth, Rottnest Island and all that by David Noel
Rottnest: Its tragedy and its glory by Edward Jack Watson
The Colours of Rottnest: 300th Anniversary published by Rottnest Island Foundation
Birds of Rottnest Island: A Checklist by D. Saunders and Perry De Rebeira
Introduction to the marine environment of Rottnest Island, Western Australia by F. E. Wells and D. I. Walker
Rottnest Isle of Youth by John T. Macmahon
Far from Home: Aboriginal Prisoners of Rottnest Island 1838-1931 by Neville Green and Susan Moon
The Rottnest Biological Station and Recent Scientific Research by E. P. Hodgkin and K. Sheard
All The News in a Flash: Rottnest Communications 1829-1979 by John Moynihan
The Marine Flora and Fauna of Rottnest Island, Western Australia by F. E. Wells
Rotto: The Alternate Guidebook to Rottnest Island - WA's Summer Playground published by WA Ferry Operators
The Natural Features of Rottnest Island by B K Bowen, C F H Jenkins, N G Marchant, P E Playford and G R W Meadly
Rottnest Island: Western Australia's Premier Island Holiday Resort (Season 1928-29) published by Rottnest Board of Control
The Quokka Question: A Kylie Kendall Mystery by Claire McNab
Quokka Island by Leslie Rees
What on Earth is a Quokka by Jenny E. Tesar
Quokka Tale by Stefan Mager
Quentin: a Story of a Little Quokka by Hilaire Natt
Tertiary Microplankton from the Rottnest Island Bore, Western Australia by IC Cookson and A Elsenackt
GEOLOGY AND HYDROGEOLOGY OF ROTTNEST ISLAND, WESTERN AUSTRALIA by P.E. Playford

rottnest romance #13

They're still in the restaurant. Thank god it's not a six-hour degustation.
Nick reveals he's good with his hands. Will Larissa club him to death with a Black & Decker spirit level? Read on as we move into the exciting second half of Chapter Two...
--
"How's your bruschetta?" she heard him enquire.

"She looked up, about to say it was delicious, but saw he was talking to Ashleigh.

"Not bad," Ashleigh said. It was the closest so far she had come to being complimentary Larissa had heard.

Larissa had a feeling of - what? - annoyance Nick hadn't been asking her how her food was. Why was that? She was getting rather tired of hearing him go on about his building project - why would she want him to speak to her about anything else?

With a frown she tried to clear the question from her mind. Although it was probably the last thing she wanted to know about, she decided to find out some details about the man opposite her.

"How long have you been a developer, Nick?"

"All my working life," he answered. "It's pretty well all I know how to do."

"How did you get started?"

"From the bottom up. I began studying to be an architect at university, and financed my studies by working on building sites."

"Do you mean labouring?"

"That's right - hard physical work, out in all kinds of weather. I learnt how to do it from scratch."

Larissa glanced at his expensive clothes and Rolex watch and reflected that lately he didn't seem to have to do much of the building himself. Ashleigh seemed to think the same, because she drawled, "You don't often have to get your hands dirty now, though, do you Nick?"

He shrugged, and gave a fleeting smile. "I've been successful. I can employ people to do all the hard work for me now."

"How did you come to choose Rottnest for your next big scheme?"

"By the usual process - although I did have some good fortune as well."

"Oh? How was that?"

"The project was announced in the usual way, by public tender. The island also contacted me and asked if I'd be interested. I lodged my tender, which was provisionally accepted."

She wasn't part of 'the island' that seemed so keen for Nick to start building, she thought fiercely. "Good for you, then," she commented. Her voice must have sounded less than enthusiastic, as they both glanced at her with curious looks.

She hurriedly came out with another question. "What do you mean, that your tender was only provisionally accepted?"

"The deadline is next week. I have to hand in all the documents by then. But there's no problem there. We just came to Rottnest to look the place over and finalise details in the cottage design."

As he spoke he looked confident and relaxed. At his side Ashleigh was sipping at her glass of wine. Larissa had a sudden feeling of helplessness as she sat with these two dynamic, well-dressed people who radiated confidence. It seemed inevitable that the development was going to proceed. Nick was a successful and energetic businessman, with every intention of making his latest project a credit to his portfolio.

treated worse than a quokka

An associate of Rotto Bloggo took us on a walk down memory lane the other day. His scrapbooks were filled with front page ball-tearers from the late, loved, lamented Daily News (of blessed memory).

The yarns included an agreeably high number of Rottnest stories. There was a story with then-shinybum Chris Back who said despite recent price increases, the beautiful island was still tremendously affordable. This was 1986. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Another one about a man who had been assualted was puzzling. Rotto Bloggo was baffled.

The bloke said he'd been treated worse than a quokka by the state's legal system.

"He is bitter because a stranger who punched and kicked him at a party was fined merely $200 for assualt," the yarn reported.

"If he had kicked a quokka at Rottnest he'd have gone to jail," the bloke complained.

Hmm. But how was the bloke treated worse than the quokka? They were both kicked. Well, the theoretical quokka was kicked, but you know what we mean.

Surely the bloke meant to say the bloke who kicked him was treated better than the theoretical bloke who kicked the quokka.

The Daily: will we see its like again?

rottnest romance #12

Another thrilling 500 words in the only Bills & Moon romance set on Rottnest: Rottnest Romance. It was titillation in Thomson Bay when we were last with our hero and heroine. Larissa had been forced, kicking and screaming, to sit at handsome Nick's table for dinner. It can't be too long before they're eating oysters and asparagus off each other's bellies...once they're done discussing peacocks...
--
He gave her a puzzled look, while Ashleigh snickered.

“That’s not quite what I had in mind,” he eventually said. Was he just a little peeved, she wondered? Too bad, then.

But he seemed to shrug it off. “When I was speaking to your sister this morning,” he said, “she mentioned that you’re quite an expert on anything to do with Rottnest.”

“I wouldn’t label myself as an expert,” she said, suspiciously.

“You’re being too modest, I’m sure. I’d like to take advantage of your local knowledge, and get your advice of some of my plans for Parakeet Bay.” He gave her an encouraging smile. “What do you say?”

Absolutely not, she wanted to firmly reply. “I don’t know if it would really be a good idea, actually,” she said hesitantly instead. “I’m in no way an expert on building or anything like that.”

“That doesn’t worry me in the slightest – I’m the builder. What I think would be good would be input from a local person – and I think you would be ideal.”

How could she get out of this? She tried a different tack.

“I’m actually involved in running a business of my own – or had you forgotten that? I don’t think I’d be able to spare the time.”

“Oh, I understand it would be business,” he said, looking surprised. “A fee would be payable to you, of course, for your time and expertise. That would only be fair.”

Once again the irony of the situation struck her. She was being offered money to do something which went entirely against her beliefs and ideals. It was obvious that her sister hadn’t told Nick about her rather passionate interests – if she had, then he wouldn’t be as keen to get her involved in his plans.

“Well, let me think about it,” she said, trying to sound unconvinced. “But I can’t promise anything, you understand.”

“Of course,” he assured her.

“Have you seen the peacocks yet?” she asked, wanting to change the subject.

“Yes!” he said, smiling. “At first, seeing them from a distance, I didn’t realise what they were, but then they spread out their feathers. They’re very striking.”

“They’re not as common as the quokkas – or as friendly – but they are another feature of the island.”

Linda appeared at their table, with their first course. As the plates were put on the table Larissa had a sudden thought about the offer Nick had just made. Why didn’t she act against her initial instincts, and accept? That way she could find out a lot about his plans for Parakeet Bay. Any information she could obtain would probably be extremely useful to her and her friends. They could be in a much better position to hinder the development.

How could she do that, she wondered, as she picked up a slice of bruschetta. If Marjorie found out she would never forgive her – Larissa would never hear the end of it. And, really, the ethics of the idea were a bit suspect. She would in fact be deceiving Nick if she agreed to give him advice, and instead only planned to try and sabotage his project. It would be wrong…it might even be criminally wrong.

All the same, it was a tempting notion.

rotto facebooko

We were grateful to outstanding local blogger The Perth Files for making Rotto Bloggo his Rottnest Correspondent in his Facebook blog network.

It prompted us to have a mooch through Facebook to see what sort of stuff there is on the beautiful island.

Good to see the RIA has the official Facebook fan group. We promptly joined, and was the 4726th person to do so. It has some good discussion boards and video, including inside the Wadjemup lighthouse.

We loved 'I lived at Rottnest, SUCKED IN', 'I'm in the 2008 Rottnest Channel Swim', and the QPG: 'Quokka Protection Group'. Lots of stuff to explore.

Most intriguing, however, was this group: the Rottnest Island Pingers (The R.I.P). Their page says their group is for "anyone who has missioned on Rottnest Island in the early hours of the morning".

Goodness. A religious cult? We had to investigate further before we joined. It seems the Pingers have more secular interests. This video is fun: it's called 'I'll do anything for a Pinger', and features a young gel in a hoodie snorting sherbet, a la coke, up her nose after the powdery confection has been chopped up with a credit card. At the end she says, "I'll do anything for a pinger", much to her pals' amusement.

The Pingers' photos are intriguing. They operate in the wee hours, on various Rotto landmarks, with plenty of ciggies and drinks at hand. One of the people in the photo is a Fitzhardinge. If only they'd missioned on the bungalow of the same name.

give me your answer true

An alert reader has pointed out Larissa’s boat (see episodes of Rottnest Romance) is named after an island flower.

Yes indeed. At times there’s nothing much Rotto-related on eBay – but there’s usually a listing or two of Rotto Island pine seeds and/or Rotto Island Daisy seeds.

“Trachymene caerulea…is a long flowering annual growing to 60 centimetres (2 feet) which produces lovely long-stemmed medium blue pom pom like flowers up to 5 centimetres in diameter in summer,” says the eBay description.

“The flowers last well for an indoor display. This delightful plant is easy to grow in a range of climates and is ideal for containers and as a bedding plant. Plant in full sun or part shade. They flower in the same year as planted.”

Mr Fothergill says daisies are bright purple, pincushion-like flowers on attractive, low-growing plants. The RIA says it’s also known as the blue lace flower, and it’s “actually” a member of the carrot family. “It is now grown throughout the world as an ornamental garden plant.”

The RIA says rising sea levels thousands of years ago created Rotto fauna.

“Rottnest was partly submerged and became 11 small islands. Exposure to salt and wind eliminated hundreds of species at that time so that today there are only about 140 indigenous species left on the Island.”

rottnest romance #11

The narrative trundles along. We're in the restaurant - Larissa should have had tofu burgers at home. Nick reveals his one track mind. Larissa lets slip about her morning missile called Buster. Ashleigh is bored with it all. Caution: conversation about feeding quokkas will give RIA rangers heart attacks.
--
He shook his head. “Not yet. We’re planning to mount an expedition and ride around tomorrow. You never know, there might be other areas ripe for development as well.”

That sounds ghastly, she thought grimly. Why couldn’t he be content with messing up only one part of the island? Did he have to be so eager about what else he could spoil?

“You might be on your own again, Nick,” his assistant said. “The idea of having to propel myself around this sandy piece of rock doesn’t appeal to me, I can tell you now.”

There was an uncomfortable pause at the table.

Larissa wished the woman would say one positive thing about Rottnest. She seemed to take a delight in being negative about what was, after all, her home.

The awkward moment was broken by the arrival of Linda to take their orders. Nick was friendly and chatty, and made Linda smile as he told her what he wanted, while Ashleigh persisted with her suffering martyr attitude.

As Nick settled back into his chair he gave Larissa an amused glance. “I don’t want to offend your vegetarian principles, but I wonder if restaurants here have ever considered putting quokka on the menu?”

She gave him a guarded look. After a moment she decided he was merely being playful. “Perhaps it has occurred to them, but I can tell you there would be an uproar if they ever tried.”

“I’m sure there would be,” he admitted, grinning. “They are rather endearing, aren’t they? Are they only found here on Rottnest?”

“Mainly here, with some in the state’s south-west. My best friend is a quokka, actually. His name is Buster, and he usually comes to visit me first thing in the morning. I feed him, and then sometimes he runs amok in my garden.” She stopped, catching sight of an amused grin on his face. Why was she gabbling on like this?

Ashleigh joined in. “They give me the creeps. They look like giant rats – ugh.”

“You’re not the first person to think that,” Larissa told her. “The island got its name from Dutch explorers in the seventeenth century. They mistook the quokkas for giant rats, and came up with the name Rotte Nest.”

Ashleigh gave her a bored look. “Fascinating.”

Larissa felt a prick of annoyance, but Nick smoothly re-entered the conversation. “They’re very tame, aren’t they…I notice that generally they’ll let people feed them.”

She nodded. “Yes, in the more populated areas like Thomson Bay they’ll eat out of your hand. But in the wild they tend to keep their distance.”

“I wonder,” he mused, “if I could work the quokka into my new development. Have it as a mascot, or something like that. How does that sound to you?”

For goodness’ sake, she thought: did everything he say and do come back to his blasted project? Talk about a one-track mind. With an edge to her voice she replied: “If you want to use our native marsupial in your project, how about each cottage having a quokka-shaped letterbox outside the front door? That would certainly be a striking feature.”

publicity

We’ve had some fame: Rotto Bloggo is in the latest Rottnest Islander (‘Your essential guide to WA’s holiday island’) as mentioned last month.

There’s a nice pic pointer to page seven above the masthead (‘Meet the man behind our own blog’) with the Scrabble image you see at the top of the screen.

The article is very satisfactory – as you would expect, since we wrote it – and there’s another pic of Rotto Bloggo with a monster on the end of the line while fishing at Fay’s Bay.

The Rottnest Islander isn’t bad. There advertorial about Subway (the RIA and the Rotto business community pay money to the Islander), but most of it is fair to excellent.

The front page story blares CONFIDENCE ON A HIGH!: “As Rottnest Island continues to break visitor records – more people visited the island in may than at any other time in history – business confidence has also hit an all-time high.”

How has this ascent been measured? “More than $70 million is due to be invested in the island by private companies”. The Quokka Arms restoration, new Dome and new leases are listed – but no mention of the new Mt Herschel hotel. Why not?

A postcard souvenir of a flight to the beautiful island is reproduced: it assures passengers the plane was manned by Teetotal Pilots.

A woman who had a heart and double lung transplant rode her bike to the West End…a pic of a sand dune blowout at Parker Point…a feature on the Shardlow family…another feature on the salt lakes…an obituary on a guide…it’s all good.

In other publications: the doctors’ union Medicus is advertising work on Rotto for next year: “The AMA is seeking expressions of interest for locum assignments on Rottnest Island for 2009. Minimum two weeks commitment is preferred for this assignment. For further information regarding these vacancies please contact Stacey Dorph-Petersen on 9273 3033 or email Stacey.D@amawa.com.au

rottnest romance #10

The next choice 500 words from Rottnest Romance. Will it win the Miles Franklin or the Man Booker? I wouldn't be surprised. The scintillating story so far: Larissa wanted a quiet dinner but - fancy! - ended up sitting with evil money-grubbing scum-of-the-earth developer Nick at the same table. She proceeds to lick jus off his torso - hang on, no, will they even get to dessert before Larissa chucks a tanty? Read on...

--


“Was it a business or a social event?” he pressed her.

“Social – and not very interesting. Why aren’t you eating at your hotel?” she asked, hoping to deflect his curiosity.

“We had lunch there today. We thought we’d try somewhere different for dinner.”

As he spoke Larissa saw Ashleigh Kane walk towards them. She was wearing an expensive-looking blood-red dress that hugged her body.

As Ashleigh took her seat Larissa noted that she touched Nick’s shoulder for a moment. That gesture, and the fact he hadn’t been ostentatiously polite to her, told her they were intimate – perhaps lovers.

So what? It wasn’t her business.

She greeted Ashleigh, and asked, “Are you feeling better now after your rest?”

“I’m fine now, thanks. Have you ordered yet, Nick?”

He shook his head. “No, not yet. What are you going to have?”

Ashleigh’s gold jewelry caught Larissa’s eye: she wore several bracelets and a big earring in each ear. To match her dress, Ashleigh had bright red lipstick, lots of makeup and black strappy shoes. ‘How wrong for Rottnest’, thought Larissa.

“I don’t think I want anything. The menu seems a bit limited here. Are there any better places to eat on this island?”

That was a bit unfair, Larissa thought. “The food is really good here, Ashleigh – I’m sure you’ll like it.”

The other woman just shrugged. Larissa wondered how long it would be before she could leave without seeming rude.

“You have an uncommon family name, Larissa,” Nick said. “Kidd – how did you come by that?”

“We think our ancestors were from Britain and came out with the First Fleet,” she explained. “Apparently it’s an old Scottish name.”

“It was also the name of an infamous pirate – William Kidd, from Greenock, Scotland. Rather appropriate really, seeing you run a sea-faring business,” he smiled.

“Appropriate in what way?” she asked guardedly.

“I notice on my map there have been quite a few shipwrecks around Rottnest. Doesn’t that conjure up pictures of pirates and sunken treasure to you?”

“No,” she said bluntly, “although you are right about the shipwrecks. There have been about a dozen or so on reefs around the island in the past hundred and fifty years.”

“Have there been any around Parakeet Bay?” he asked.

“I don’t think so. Up until now people have had the good sense to stay away from that particular area,” she said pointedly.

It was as if Nick hadn’t heard her. “We went out to Parakeet Bay today, in fact – or rather I did. Ashleigh was still resting and didn’t fancy a bike ride.”

“Yes?” Larissa tried to sound interested. She didn’t want to hear the details about how the Bay was going to be developed – destroyed, in her view. “What did you do there?”

“Looked around. Generally got a feel for the area. It’s very scenic out there – quite beautiful.”

“It certainly is,” she agreed. She wanted to add, ‘Then why are you determined to ruin it with your big plans?’ but stopped herself.

Instead she asked, “Have you seen anything else of the island?”